What about
by Skipsida
Summary: ... when the seishi are little reincarnated kids? *laughs* Yes, there can be humourous angst fics! Really! Prequel to "What if". And guess what? It's the end of the Tasuki saga!!! Be happy!
1. Teaser

**Disclaimer: **Dude! This is the teaser/opening chapter! You think I need a disclaimer for that?! 

***applause. The curtain opens. Skipsida gets up on stage and grabs the microphone*** Uh, hello and welcome to the next in the "What..." series. These are the prequels, written by the award winning (okay, maybe not) author (wannabee), Me! Skipsida! These are the long awaited (well, maybe not) prequels to the famous (not quite) "What if" series, acclaimed as the best ever piece of FY fanfiction ever written (by me, even if no one else agrees) 

Neko Kamiya: Skippy! Stop it with the brackets, already! 

Arcanine: We'll give you a cookie! 

Skipsida: *embarrassed cough* Uh, that brings me to my next item. 

Chibigreenwizardmon: I brought the bribe... uh, "gift", don't worry! *holds up sack of cookies* 

Skipsida: Erm, it's not that. It is probably the worst announcement ever made in the history of FF.net (I'm guessing so... probably not...) 

Shiro Yuki: *coughs* Brackets *cough* 

Skipsida: It's that.... 

Everyone: *expectantly* Yes? 

Skipsida: I've found out I'm allergic to wheat. Yes, I'm allergic to the basic ingredient in EVERYTHING! So I can't eat cookies... they contain wheat! Or rather, I can, but they aren't good for me so I can only eat tiny amounts! *bursts into tears and starts wailing* So give me rye, oat, buckwheat or cornflour cookies, or even gluten free cookies, but not wheat! *collapses into a fit of sobbing* 

Seiryuu Girl: *jumps onstage* There, there, *hands her hankie and quickly eats the cookies she was about to offer* 

Arcanine, Neko-chan and the others: *jump on stage and pat her back* We'll help you through this hard time. 

Skipsida: *sniffle* Thanks, guys... sushi is fine though... just thought you should know. *FF.net authors exchange glances and roll their eyes* 

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, I want you to imagine this. Imagine a time when Tasuki had no fangs, only milk teeth. When Nuriko had short hair. When Hotohori thought pretty was for girls. When Chichiri had neat hair. When Mitsukake fainted at the sight of blood. Back before Taka was reincarnated, when Chiriko wasn't even born, nor Miaka. Where Nakago was a wimp. When Soi was a virgin. When Tomo thought facepaint was for clowns. When Ashitare was a cat person. When Miboshi was a bishounen. When the twins shared dummies and snails together. When Tokaki thought girls were yucky, Subaru had no bust and Tatara thought trees were for *cough* urinating on. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the world of the prequels! *glasses clink and Skipsida waves to the crowd. Then notices they are eating the cookies they were about to offer her. She faints and falls offstage* 


	2. Prologue

**Disclaimer: ***shrugs* I've used up all my creative disclaimers in "What if"! Be content with knowing I don't own FY, 'kay? 

***dramatic music*** It's another (going to be) long FY fanfic! *clapping and applause* These are meant to be the prequels to "What if", my very long finished fanfic, however, since they're prequels, you can read this before "What if", if you read it all. It'd better warn you, this is going to be pretty angst, with the humour far and between at times. Don't worry, there'll still be the customary akugi at the end of each chapter! I've had this chapter ready for a while but with FF.net being menopausal, it's been postponed a lot. So, for you enjoyment... "What about..." the prequels!   


**_Genrou and Kouji_**

Prologue

"You've ruined your life, you stupid child!" she snapped at Sorcha. Sorcha's eyes flashed and she unclasped her hands from her pregnant belly as she stood up. At four months pregnant, the bulge was small but there. 

"Not ture, Ma!" Sorcha yelled, tears of frustration in her eyes. 

"Yes it is! You know it is! There is no way that boy will stay in Japan! He'll go back to Japan, like I should have!" Grainne snarled, glaring in her husband's direction. He looked mildly back at her, used to her "Irish moods" after their years of marriage. Seeing he offered no help, Grainne turned back to her daughter. 

"It's not too late to have an abortion," she almost pleaded, "we'll pay for it, luv!" 

"No!" Sorcha snapped, "This is my child and Finn's, we're keeping it!" 

"You're teenagers! He won't stand by you!" Grainne shouted. 

"Da did!" Sorcha bellowed. 

"Yes, and I regret it, I'm telling you that!" Grainne snapped. 

"So you're saying you don't want me?!" Sorcha screamed, the tears, which had almost stopped, restarting with double strength. Grainne's snap rang out and Sorcha's father looked up. 

"Now luv, don't you think you're being a little harsh?" he asked Grainne in English, stumbling over the words. 

"No, I don't think I'm being too harsh, she's got to learn!" Grainne roared. He looked back down at his book in submission to her. Sorcha flew to his side. 

"Stop picking on Da, you bitch! Hell, I've had it with you! If I'm such a mistake, you should've had the abortion! You're a hypocrite, no mistake! Well, I'm through with putting up with you punishing me for your mistake! I'm going! I knew this would happen and packed in advance!" Sorcha shouted. She ran to the closet and emerged a few seconds later with a packed bag. She thundered out of the apartment, down the hall and out of the building. Graiinemade no effort to stop her. 

"She'll be back. Men are bastards, he'll dump her. She won't make it on her own. She'll be back," Grainne muttered. She was wrong. Sorcha wouldn't be back and Grainne would never meet Shun'u, later called Genrou, her grandson or even see her daughter again. This is the child's story. This is Genrou's story.   
  


**** 

"The damn bitch didn't kick me out, I stormed out," Sorcha sobbed, "but now I have nowhere to go." Finn kissed the tears off her cheeks. 

"We'll be fine," he said, his English with a heavy Irish accent, "I'll get a job and make a life for us, just you see/" 

"I know..." whispered Sorcha, curling in his arms, comforted by his words. Finn was as unlike her mother as anyone could be, gentle and compassionate. It was amazing they both came from the same country, shared the smae red hair. Sorcha touched her own red hair. It had been the hair which first attracted her to him. Her hair stood out in the crowd, a red-tinted brown. His hair was like flames and she noticed him straight away. He'd mistaken her for another exchange student, with her light skin and hair, which she'd inherited from her mother. They'd both laughed at the mistake and from the first day they'd met, he'd weaved a fairytale world for her, Ireland. SHe'd even started to secretly call it 'home'. 

"Can we go there someday?" she asked, suddenly. 

"Where?" Finn asked, puzzled. 

"Ireland," Sorcha replied. He hugged her. 

"If you like, we will," he reassured her. She placed her hands over her belly. 

"I wonder what he'll look like," she said. 

"What makes you so sure it'll be a he?" Finn asked, laughing. 

"I want it to be," Sorcha replied. _Because then he can't ever get pregnant_, she added, mentally. 

"I think he'll have red hair and wild eyes," Finn replied, "like you." 

"What should we call him?" Sorcha asked. 

"Let's give him an Irish name. Patrick?" Finn asked. Sorcha clasped his hand. 

"Patrick," she repeated, squeezing it.   
  


**Skipsida's Ravings:******

*gasps* Tasuki... called PATRICK?! *groans* What was I thinking? Actually, I came up with the idea of him being Irish to explain his red hair in the middle of Japan, short of hair dye. So he's 3/4 Irish, 1/4 Japanese. Now, don't kill me if you're Irish, but it seems to fit his character quite well, don't you think? The Irish stereotype is basically red hair, drinks a lot and a firey temper (yes, and a leprechaun, and saying "Top o' the mornin' to you", but let's ignore that, okay?). I mean, that's Tasuki! And yep, this is going to be a bit angsty. You thought it was bad in "What if?" That was nothing! Still, on the brighter side, I've started drawing illustrations for some of the chapters of "What if". I've done chapter 1 (funny!). Only 48 chapters left to do? Yay! *thumbs up*   
**** ****

**What about... the Akugi?******

Sorcha: 'Tis all good, lads canny get pregnant! 

A few years later... 

Genrou: Sit down Mum, I've got something to tell you... 

Sorcha: Glory be! It was Kouji, wasn't it? The father! 

Genrou: I am so ashamed....   


**Skipsida's Raving, continued:******

I hope everyone likes the prologue! Coming next... the first chapter! I thought I'd better warn you, this one flicks from third person to first person narration. Occasionally Tasuki will narrate, at other times, it'll be third person. Other characters might narrate too. I still have a lot to type up... This fanfic is a bit of an experiment in style, really, because of the way it's written, but there will be humour. Hey, little kids are funny! I should know, I'm a little kid mentally! *picks up her dummy and sucks enthusiastically* Pretty trees! *looks at them happily* 


	3. Chapter 1 - Mother wolf

**Disclaimer: **Just the fact that I need one points out the fact I don't own FY. *sigh* 

**Reviews?! *blink blink*** There's more reviews for the first chapters of this than there were for "What if"! *cheers* I have an audience! Sadly though, for Arcanine at least, she didn't write the first review.... *pats Arcanine on the back comfortingly* There's always next time... The most common thing in every review seemed to be "Tasuki?! Called Patrick?! ARGGGGGGHHHH!" That's kinda my take on the whole thing too. Don't worry, I referred to him as Genrou in "What if" so it won't be permanent... we all hope. *gets chased around by a furious Tasuki* Anyway, it's been a while since my last chapter so I thought I'd better tell you, I've been flat out studying for exams. It's the second semester now and I have an extra line of maths on top of my other subjects. I'm probably going to have be a social recluse for the rest of the year to keep up with my work and exams! *wails sadly* And I won't get as much time for anime related stuff, fanfics and writing in general! *chews on a wheat-free cookie sadly* On a lighter note, I've made an improved recipe for buckwheat pancakes, better than the one written on the pancake mix, and it tastes better than wheat pancakes! :-p   


**_Genrou and Kouji_**

**Chapter 1 - Mother Wolf******

Standing at the airport, eyes scanning the list of flights, four year old Patrick at her side, tugging at her skirt, Sorcha moved forward, following the line, until she finally reached the front. 

"Is he...?" Sorcha asked. The woman gave her a sad, sympathetic smile. 

"Not today, I'm sorry," she replied, as Sorcha trailed off. Sorcha's eyes filled with tears. 

"Isn't there any booking under the name of Finn O'Malley? Any at all?" she pleaded, already knowing answer. 

"There is no booking under that name and never has been, I'm sorry," the woman replied, sounding troubled and a bit embarrassed. Sorcha's tears stopped and she felt cold. 

"He's deserted me," she said, hardly believing it. 

"Maybe you should go sit down, have a nice cup of tea," the woman at the desk suggested helplessly, sounding distressed. For every day, for over a month, she'd seen Sorcha line up and always ask the same questions just to get the same answers. 

_Whoever he is, he doesn't deserve her,_ she thought, watching the girl and child walk off, the child chattering, the mother as if in a trance. Hikari sighed and wondered what had happened. Sorcha, who was walking to the airport cafeteria, was wondering the same thing. Where had it gone wrong? For four years, it had all been perfect, like a fairytale. When Patrick was born, nothing could have been more perfect. She stayed at home, making their apartment, although small, beautiful, and looked after Patrick while Finn worked. They were happy. Then Finn left, a year ago now, to make the trip back to Ireland and farewell his dying father... 

"Are you okay?" asked the woman from the desk. Sorcha read the nametag. Hito Hikari. 

"Yes, fine..." Sorcha stammered. 

"You're not. My shift has ended, do you want me to stay here with you?" Hikari asked, kindly. Sorcha nodded dumbly. Hikari sat down and smiled at Patrick. 

"And who is this young man? Your little brother?" she asked. 

"He's my son," Sorcha replied. Hikari's eyes widened, as Sorcha looked no older than twenty, but didn't comment. 

"I'm four!" Patrick said, holding up his hands to show her. Hikari smiled. 

"Nearly grown up," she smiled. Patrick beamed at her. 

"I'm Patrick!" he said, enthusiastically. Sorcha snapped. 

"Don't say that! You're not Patrick! That's what _he_ called you! You're Shun'u and don't you forget that!" she shouted at Patrick. Patrick/Shun'u's eyes filled with tears at the sound of her angry tone and he nodded dumbly. Sorcha realised she'd scared him with her tone of voice and started to cry again, feeling hopelessly unable to cope. 

"Yes Mama..." Shun'u said, "don't cry, Mama! It's okay, Shun'u is a better name! Really! I like it, Mama!" He pleaded with Sorcha, not understanding the reason for her tears but feeling scared that his mother was crying. She wasn't meant to cry, she was meant to be the brave one, not him. 

"Is... he, Finn... your husband?" Hikari asked, tentatively. 

"We were going to get married once he came back from Ireland... but he's not coming back, is he? He's not coming back. He won't ever come back..." Sorcha sobbed. 

"You don't know that..." Hikari said, awkwardly. 

"It's hopeless! When I spoke to him on the phone, 6 weeks ago, he said he's send a letter and that would mean he'd be home in a week! That was 5 weeks ago! 5! And the money stopped coming through a month ago. I don't even have his phone number! He's dumped me..." Sorcha wailed. 

"Did the letter... say anything? GIve a reason?" Hikari asked. 

"I don't know, I can't read English," admitted Sorcha, "only speak it." She'd learnt English only by talking with her moth, but, living in Japan, had never thought it necessary to learn, being already fluent and unlikely to use the language. Sorcha looked sadly at Shun'u, who had lost interest in their conversation, like little kids always did, and was playing with a toy car. 

"What am I going to do?" she asked, pleadingly, "I'm running out of money and I've only been here for a year, all my friends are in Osaka, not this place." Hikari looked sympathetically at Sorcha, feeling as if her heart would break. 

"I don't know," she admitted, "but I know this, you have a son, fight to keep him." Hikari pulled a piece of paper out of her blazer and wrote something on it before handing it to Sorcha. 

"I have to go now, my parents are expecting me, but here's my phone number, and the address of a cafe that needs a waitress. If you need a job, try there. Good lucky, O'Malley-san. I am sure your fiancée will come soon," Hikari said, before leaving. Sorcha stared downa t the piece of paper in her hands, a number and an address. She realised that she didn't even remember Hikari's last name, let alone why Hikari, a complete stranger, was helping her. She also realised that her pride would never let her call Hikari, she just couldn't do it. But as she turned the paper over in her hands, she felt a twinge of hope. 

"Come on, Shun-chan, let's go find this cafe, then," she said, standing up. Shun'u gave an enthusiastic cry, happy that his mother seemed happier, and Sorcha filled with optimism. Of course everything would be alright! It had to, didn't it?   


**************   


"Hello!" came the voice from behind Sorcha. Sorcha spun around, wondering who could have possibly recognised her at the daycare centre. It was Hikari, with a small child by her side, who was chattering away with Shun'u. 

"Hi," Sorcha replied, awkwardly. Hikari subtly examined her. There was still the ghost of the depressed woman from four months ago showing, but on the whole, she looked much better. Hikari had almost missed her coming to the airport. After their first meeting at the airport cafeteria, she had come only four more times, each with a longer gap between, until she finally gave up all hope and stopped all together. Sorcha now was smiling faintly at Hikair and she smiled back. 

"How are you? Did you get the job?" Hikari asked, not probing Sorcha for not phoning at all in the four months she hadn't seen her. It was none of her business, she was just a stranger. 

"I've been better," sighed Sorcha, "and no, I didn't get the job, but I found one at a noodle-bar. It's part time, a daytime shift, so I can pick up Shun'u. Is that your boy my son is talking to?" Sorcha changed the subject quickly. Hikari shook her head. 

"Don't I wish! Isn't he sweet? He's my partner's first wife's son. Apparently she dumped him on her ex-husband, my boyfriend, even though he's not his child. But he keeps Kouji, he's generous. I take Kouji-chan to daycare," Hikari explained. At that point Shun'u ran up to Sorcha and gave her a hug. 

"Hello Mummy!" he called then pointed to Kouji. "That's Kouji! He gave me a cookie!" he said, by way of explanation, and then asked, "can he come and play?" Sorcha looked at Hikari. 

"Sure, why not?" Sorcha replied. 

"Now?" Shun'u asked eagerly. Sorcha shrugged. 

"If that's okay with Hito-san," she said, hesitantly. 

"Please, Hikari-san!" pleaded Kouji, joining in. Hikair nodded and both boys cheered. They ran and played through all the short walk home. orcha let them into the apartment and closed the door quietly as both boys ran straight to Shun'u's room. Sorcha sank down on a chair at the table. 

"I don't know if I can stay here much longer. The rent's too expensive and I've got to pay for Shun'u's daycare and our food. I'm nearly out of money, so I'm enjoying it while I can," Sorcha sighed. 

"I'm sorry to hear that," Hikari replied, politely, then added, kindly, "would you like me to help you house hunt?" 

"Why are you so good to me?" asked Sorcha, suspiciously, "You don't even know me." Hikari shrugged. 

"It costs nothing to be nice to people. Maybe I was thinking of how I'd feel in your position. If you don't mind my saying so, you look young to be a mother. I'm twenty-six and I still don't know how I'd cope being a mother," Hikari replied. 

"You've done well by Kouji," Sorcha pointd out. 

"He's so cute!" enthused Hikari. "He seems to have adopted me as a second mother! I don't see how any mother could have abandoned him. Perhaps thats another reason I wanted to help you." Hikari said, thoughtfully. 

"I thank you for your kindness," Sorcha said, politely but stiffy. She was touched by Hikari's kindness but wasn't quite sure what to think of her yet, nor how to express it. 

"Can't your parents help you with money?" Hikari asked, after the resulting pause. Sorcha clenched her fists. 

"I'd _never_ beg them for money! They'll never find me, I'm using my Japanese name now... or rather a Japanese version of Finn's last name and my name," Sorcha replied. 

"Aren't you already using your Japanese first name?" asked Hikari, surprised. Sorcha shook her head and gave a ghost of a smile. 

"They're both pronounced the same way though. My name is 'Sorcha', an Irish name, and my Japanese name is 'Sora', as in the big blue thing over our heads that rain falls from. I write 'O'Malley' as 'Omari'," Sorcha explained. 

"And Shun'u is Patrick?" asked Hikari. Sorcha nodded. 

"Will you teach him English?" asked Hikari. 

"He's already bilingual but I won't speak English to him. If he wants to learn it later on, that's his choice alone," Sorcha sighed. 

"It seems like you're letting him waste an opportunity," Hikari replied. Sorcha shook her head. 

"I see it as giving him a choice."   


*********** 

Shun'u

When I asked Daddy why my hair was orange, he laughed. When I asked Mummy, she cried. I saw her cry like that when Daddy went away. I won't ask Mummy again, it makes her sad. Mummy is sad a lot now. I'm being really good but she still is sad. Maybe she is hurt, because she cries a lot. I'm being a big boy. I'll find out where Mummy is hurt and make it better but I don't know where she is hurting. Maybe she is scared., We're playing a big game. We even moved houses to make it better, and in the game, I'm Shun'u, not Patrick, and I can't speak English. I don't like the game any more. We're in a smelly little house and eat yucky food. Mummy looks really sad when I speak English, too. Maybe she's forgetting English. Maybe that's why Daddy went away. I'll be careful so I don't forget English took, otherwise Kouji-kun and Hikari-san might go away. I talk English to Bran at night and he talks back. Bran is really smart for a teddy. Daddy gave him to me to fight the monsters in the dark. Bran says Daddy will be back soon so I need to know English to talk to him. 

********* 

Kouji

My friend Shun'u has bright orange hair. When I firs' saw it, I thought it was on fire an' tipped my juice on his head. Mean ol' teacher yelled at me an' made me stand in the corner but Shun'u gave me my cookie back cos I'd only been helping. We tried to change his hair with mud but it didn' work an' his Omari-san got angry at him. Shun'u asked his Ma why his hair is all funny but she didn' tell him. Hikari-san says it's cos he's Irish but we dunno what Irish is. Maybe it's to do with peaches. Shun'u loves peaches and carrots an' they're orange so he's stopped eating them. He don' drink milk either, he did once at kindy an was sick. His Ma says he's "lactose intolerant". She taught us those big words an what they mean too! It means he can' drink milk, so when we have milk, he has orange juice. The teachers were real cross when he didn' drink it today. They said we're big boys now an' gotta drink all our drinks cos big boys eat an' drink everythin' they're given otherwise they don' let them go to school. School sounds like fun, with lotsa kisd to play with. Hikarisan says we're really brave because we're not scared like the other kids, but that's cos we got Bran. Shun'u says he fights off monsters for us so we'll be sage. I wish Pa would get me a teddy like that, Shun'u says Bran talks and my teddy doesn'. It's not fair! 

********** 

"The boys are good friends, we should put them in school together," Hikari said, sipping her tea. Sorcha looked at her in surprise. 

"Are you sure? I thought you would put Kouji in a more expensive school. Your partner certainly can afford it," Sorcha replied. Hikari shook her head, dismissively. 

"It hardly matters for five year olds how much prestige their school holds, as long as they learn. Let's not split the boys up. Besides, it means I can take Shun'u to school when you have early shifts. You can change shifts and get a better pay," Hikari said. Sorcha smiled. 

"Thankyou, Hikari-chan," she said, gratefully. Shun'u and Kouji ran up to her suddenly. 

"Home free!" Shun'u called, triumphanty. Kouji whined pathetically. 

"Awwww! No fair, Shun'u! You're too fast!" Shun'u poked out his tongue and clung firm to his mother's arm. 

"No, you're too slow!" he called back. Hikari and Sorcha gazed at them both in amusement. 

"Playing tag?" Sorcha asked. "That would make me the safe point, right?" Shun'u and Kouji nodded. Sorcha got up, and, with her free hand, picked up the teapot. "More tea?" she asked Hikari. 

"Yes, please," replied Hikari. Sorcha started walking to the kettle and Shun'u shuffled along beside her. Sorcha laughed. 

"Are you just going to hold on all day now?" she asked. 

"Yep! I'm not going to let go ever!" Shun'u declared. 

"Hey! That's cheating!" Kouji complained. 

"Don't worry, he's have to let go! I'm going to the toilet!" Sorcha said, grinning. Shun'u gulped as she gently pried his hands loose. Kouji stepped forward. 

"I ain't giving you no time! You're too fast!" he said. Shun'u let go of his mother and shot off across the room and latched onto Hikari. 

"Home free!" he declared, triumphantly. Kouji whined and said, 

"That's not fair! I'm not playing anymore! Let's watch TV!" Shun'u scowled at Kouji. 

"We don't have a TV, remember? Mummy, can I have a TV for my birthday?" Shun'u asked. Sorcha's departing figure sighed. 

"We'll see,"   


************** 

Shun'u

School isn't that fun after all. Everyone keeps pointing at my hair and yucky girls want to touch it and touch Bran. Bran doesn't like being touched and I had to stop him biting people. People called me fire-head and gaijin at recess. I don't know what a gaijin is, but it doesn't sound nice. The teacher was nice, she gave me a lolly and the class sang about ducks then she told us a story. Lunch was scary, one of my teeth fell out! The teacher told me to put it in my pocket and Kouji and I were real scared because if all my teeth fall out, I won't be able to eat, I'll have to drink milk like a baby and I can't drink milk! Bran said I should try to glue it back in. I'm sitting in the sick room now. The lady won't believe me when I said it was Bran's idea. Bran's a mean teddy, he got me in trouble. Hikari just came in because Mummy is at work. 

"Why did you swalllow glue? You could have been sick! You could have glued your mouth shut! How we have fed you?" Hikari fussed. I held up the tooth. 

"It was Bran's idea! My tooth fell out!" I said. Hikari laughed. 

"You don't need to do that, silly!" she said. Hikari then told me about the tooth fairy and I went back to class. The teacher told me I was really brave because I didn't even cry ad gave me a gold star sticker. Maybe school isn't so bad. 

*************   


"It's been a year now and they don't have any other friends," said Hikari to Sorcha, sounding worried. She kept one eye on Kouji and Shun'u who were charging on ahead, the other on Sorcha's face. 

"Just as long as they're not being bullied," Sorcha said, calmly, "I'm not worried." Hikari looked at Sorcha. 

"You don't have many friends, do you?" she asked. Sorcha shook her head. 

"I never did. I left most of the ones I had in Oaska. I don't keep in touch with them, it was too hard at first, after Finn left and when I moved. None of them really seemed to care about me anyway. The ones from high school snubbed me after I got pregnant and the ones I made after Shun'u was born didn't know me long enough to really care. I've never been popular, it's hard, being a gaijin." 

"You're not really a gaijin, you and Shun'u were raised here," Hikari said. 

"Try telling everyone else that. They see our hair and think 'gaijin'," pointed out Sorcha, with a sigh. Shun'u ran past Sorcha and in his rush, dropped Bran. Hikari scooped the bear up and handed it back. 

"He still keeps bringing it to school," she commented, "you usually are at work so you don't see, but he never forgets it." Sorcha's eyes softened. 

"That's Bran," Sorcha said, "one of the only things Shun'u has to remember Finn by. All we have for proof he was ever with us are Bran and the photos.... and the letter, of course. I've kept it too. Silly, isn't it?" Hikari didn't comment.   


*********** 

A little girl came up to Shun'u and Kouji in the playground, one day. She inspected Shun'u from all angles in fascination and said, 

"I like your hair. I want hair like that. How did you get it?" Shun'u grinned, showing the two large adult teeth in his mouth among the milk teeth. 

"I dunno, I was born this way," Shun'u repied, not used to being complemented on his hair. He'd been expecting a taunt. The girl considere his answer. 

"Oh," she said. She turned to include Kouji in her gaze. 

"My name is Neko, will you be my friends?" she asked. 

"Yep!" Kouji said. 

"Okay," Shun'u said, then added, hesitantly, holding out his teddy, "Bran likes you, do you want to hold him?" 

********* 

"An' Kouji'll be the Daddy and I'll be the Mummy and you'll be the baby!" Yuki said. 

"No fair!" Neko protested, "How come I always have to be the baby! You're _always_ the Mummy!" 

"That's cos I'm the big sister and your not!" Yuki declared, poking her tongue out at Neko. 

"I don't want to be a dumb ol' uncle! I want to be the pet wolf!" Shun'u said, defiantly. Kouji decided being a wolf was much more interesting than being a father and started complaining. 

"Aw, how come you get t' be a wolf?" 

"Cos I said so first!" replied Shun'u, happily. 

"Then I'm a cat! Like my name!" said Neko, eagerly. 

"I'll be a rabbit then," said Yuki, grudgingly, while wondering what had happened to their game of Family. 

"What'll I be then?" wailed Kouji, "Bran is already the bear!" 

"You could be a wolf too," sugested Shun'u, "cos wolfs go in herds." 

"Ya mean, wolves hunt in packs!" giggled Yuki. The six-year-olds glared at the nine-year-old and an evil glint entered Shun'u's eye. 

"Good thing you're a rabbit then, because we need something to hunt!" he said. He charged towards Yuki, howling in a wolf imitation. Kouji and Neko followed, giggling, and Yuki ran off, squealing, half-afraid. What with his two oversized canines, his only adult teeth, Shun'u looked almost as if he had fangs! 

************   


"Aaaaaoooooooo! Look Mummy, I'm a wolf!" Shun'u said proudly, later that day when his mother came to pick him up from school. Sorcha laughed. 

"Wolf-pup, more like!" she said, affectionately, scooping him up onto her back, "I guess that makes me Mama-wolf!" 

"Uh huh! An' Neko's a cat an' Kouji's another wolf!" Shun'u enthused. 

"My! A whole pack!" Hikari giggled. 

"That's us! A wolf pack!" said Kouji, happily. 

"In that case, we'd better return to our den quickly!" laughed Hikari, waving goodbye to Sorcha and Shun'u.   
  
  


**Skipsida's Ravings:******

This raving will be kinda informative, for once! 

Sora means sky, in case you didn't get the reference to the "big blue thing" (the ocean isn't above our heads, in case you didn't guess...) 

Bran, the name of the teddy, is the same name as an Irish hero is legends. That's probably why Finn and Shun'u named it that way. Bran is kinda based on my teddy, Kim, I used to say he could talk and he could too. He hasn't been very talkative lately, maybe I just can't hear as well as I could when I was little. I haven't stopped believing. 

The airport scene struck me as pretty tragic, the way Sorcha clung onto hope for that long then finally gave up. I came up with the idea of Hikari, the observer, for that reason. She works there every day and would have seen Sorcha and felt sorry for her. Hikari means "light", and I thought it was kinda appropriate for the role Hikari has. She is one of the few kind people around in the story. I'm being realistic, I don't think anyone would really help Sorcha. It takes a rare person to help like Hikari, I have yet to meet one. 

I loved writing all the scenes with little Shun'u and Kouji, they're just cute! Couldn't you just imagine them as kids, being naughty? Man, they are definately going to be naughty later on, just you see! 

Hey, Neko-chan! You get an insertion here! Yes, I know, the other people will be coming soon, but considering the roles you have in the story, it might be hard to plonk you in places. Still, Neko-chan is kinda funny in here anyway. I once had someone come up to me and say "My name is [name], are you my friend?" I didn't know who they were and thought they were looking for someone and had mistaken me for them and said, "No, maybe one of them is." Oops. Hey, I was only about three at the time!  
  
  
There hasn't been much of a plot so far, all the little scenes were basically to show how close Sorcha and Hikari get, as well as putting a backdrop on Genrou and Kouji's friendship. They really have known each other forever, or at least, they have in my version of their reincarnation.   


**A ravings special: Skipsida's first anime convention!!!******

It's a miracle! There's never been an anime convention before in my city, this was the first one and I got to go! *cheers* 

Sorry, I just have to tell the world about it! ^_^ 

It was cool, with probably the whole otaku population of my state present (considering my state only has about 2 million people and not all of them are otaku, it's not that hard. I'm guessing about a few hundred people showed up). There were DVDs and plushies for sale, some were really cute and I found a shop where I might be able to buy a Nuriko plushie! YAY! I'm going to the National fencing championships in January and because my foil is named "Yanagi", I wanted a mascot, now I can get one! *happy dance* There were no Fushigi Yuugi DVDs for sale but thats okay, I've found a shop where I can buy them. Dubbed, unfortunately, but I might be able to find them subbed somewhere. 

Anyway, I watched lots of anime (Oh My Goddess - dubbed *cringes* the voices sucked! I liked it better subbed! And Cowboy Beebop was good, we watched it subbed) and generally mingled with the crowd. It was at one of the universities so there were lots of university aged people. It was weird, I found someone there I haven't seen for years, a freaky guy with glasses, who was one of the few other anime-fans I knew at the time. What was good was the cosplay. I didn't know there was going to be one or I would have come as Nuriko... oh well. There wasn't even a Hotohori to glomp :-( But the costumes were wicked, there were about five Sakuras though, and an Asuka, among others. I wish I could have come in costume, oh well! Frogi, my sister, probably regretted the fact there was no Tamahome to glomp -_-;; I worry... 

So, all in all, it was brilliant! Sorry, the title is "Skipsida's Ravings" and this is the raving part of it! :-p   



	4. Chapter 2 - Wolf Pup

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned Fushigi Yuugi. Problem is, so many other people wish the same, it counteracts my wish! *little kid whiny voice* Stop wishing! I want it more! 

**Another chapter? And about time too!** Sorry for the long gap between chapters, but I've had to suffer exams and major assignments, and it can only get worse! *sobs* This is getting neglected! My main problem is that I can't get focussed on this section as well as before, I keep thinking of the Ryuuen chapter and the other ones, not to mention a few other fanfic ideas I have floating around in my head, plus a few originals. On top of all that, I want to enter a novella competition! I just have to finish the novella I'm writing! x_x As you can see, it's been pretty tiring! But here you go, the long awaited chapter! Well, kinda awaited, perhaps...   


**_Genrou and Kouji_**

**Chapter 2 - Wolf Pup**

"My name is Patrick. I am six and a half years old. I live in Japan." 

"Shun-chan, what're you doing?" Sorcha asked sleepily, rubbing her bleary eyes and leaning over. 

"Mummy! I thought you were asleep!" Shun'u said, guiltily. In their one room apartment, she must have heard everything. 

"Shun'u, why were you speaking English?" Sorcha asked, suspiciously. 

"I was practising," Shun'u muttered. 

"Why?" asked Sorcha, bewildered, turning the light on to look at his face. 

"So you won't go away!" wailed Shun'u suddenly. "I stopped practisin' an' now Neko-chan's gone! An' you, an' Hikari-san an' Kouji'll be next!" Sorcha looked at him in horror, as he added, "Like Daddy." Sorcha engulfed him in a hug, tears sliding down her face. 

"Don't you say that! Don't you _ever_ say that!" she sobbed. "I love you, I'll _never_ leave you! Ever! And Daddy loves you too, I know it! Neko-chan had to leave because her family moved with her father's work! Her mother told me!" Shun'u clung to his mother and wailed. 

"What about Kouji? What about Hikari?" he pleaded. 

"They won't go!" Sorcha reassured him His eye told her he thought the opposite. She snapped into action. 

"If you don't believe me, we'll ask them!" Sorcha said, confidently. She looked at the clock. It was 9pm, she had gone to bed early with Shun'u, partially because otherwise she'd keep him awake, but mostly because she was so tired from her work that she needed it. She turned on the light and reached for the phone, knowing Hikari would still be awake. The phone was a recent purchase, to be used only in emergencies, due to the cost, but if this wasn't an emergency, Sorcha didn't know what was. She scrabbled around for Hikari's number then dialled. A man answered the phone. 

"Yamada Hiro speaking," he said. 

"Hello, Yamada-san," Sorcha greeted Hikari's partner politely, "may I speak to Hito Hikari?" 

"I'll get her." Sorcha waited until Hikari was on and then quickly summed up the situation, finally asking if Shun'u could talk to Kouji. During all this, Shun'u was quietly watching, eyes wide. Sorcha quietly passed the phone to him. 

"It's Kouji for you," she said.   


Shun'u

I picked up the phone, feeling a little scared. What if they were trying to trick me? 

"Hi Shun'u," came Kouji's voice through the phone. He sounded sleepy. "What'd you wake me for?" 

"Kouji? Will you always be there?" 

"Huh?" he asked. 

"Please, don't ever go away," I pleaded. 

"What do ya mean? I'll always be there. I'll always be ya friend," Kouji said, sleepily. Then he started sounding worried. "Was I being mean to you?" He burst into tears. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I burst into tears too because he felt so bad. 

"No! You weren't mean!" I said. 

"Good," he sniffled. "I don' wanna be mean to you. If I'm ever mean to you I'll... I'll... I'll give you my bike!" I breathed in. He meant it too. He was trying to prove he was my friend. How could I top that? I don' have a bike and I can' give him the TV, we only got it a month ago an' Mummy would be sad. All I have is... 

"If I'm ever mean to you, I'll give you Bran," I said. Kouji had stopped blubbin' and sounded surprised. 

"Bran? But he's special..." he said, then stopped, realising this was our biggest promise ever. We couldn't ever break it now. 

"That's why I'm never gonna be mean to you!" I said. "Besides, I don' think Bran'd like to move house!" 

"Yeah," Kouji agreed, "he'd hate it." 

"So you'll always be there? You won' go away?" I asked. 

"Uh huh," Kouji yawned. Then a thought got to me. 

"What about Hikari-san?" I asked. 

"Hikari-san? Yeah, she'll be here too, I'll make sure," Kouji said. 

"But Kouji-kun! She's not your Mummy! She doesn't have to be friends with my Mummy cos I'm friends with you! If she goes away, Mummy'll be sad!" I said. Mummy was looking at me, wondering what was going on. 

"I won't go," Hikari said, in a few moments. Kouji had passed her the phone. "Especially now. I'm pregnant." I looked at Mummy. 

"What does pregnant mean?" 

"It means 'going to have a baby'," Mummy said, then her eyes widened. "Who is going to have a baby?!" She grabbed the phone off me. "Hikari-chan! Are you going to have a baby?!" 

"Hikari-san is having a baby?" I asked, pulling Mummy's nighty. 

"Hang on, let's put it on speaker-phone," Mummy said to me and Hikari. 

"Yes, I'm having a baby! Isn't it wonderful? Kouji'll have someone to play with!" Hikari said, happily. 

"Will it be a boy or a girl?" Mummy asked. 

"We don't know yet. Kouji wants it to be a boy, Hiro wants it to be a girl. I don't care what it is, so long as it's not a hermaphrodite!" 

"What's a hermaphrodite, Hikari-san?" Kouji asked. Mummy started going all funny and red. 

"We'll tell you later. Oh, this is so exciting! How many months to go?" Mummy asked. 

"Four! It turns out I wasn't getting a potbelly after all, it was a baby! I was hopin it would be but didn't want to say just in case! I kept forgetting to get it checked but I did eventually and the results came back just after we got home today! Imagine, Sorcha, a baby! Oh, you've all got to help me name it!" Hikari said. 

"Yeah!" Kouji said, happily. He yawned and Hikari suddenly turned mean. 

"I think it's time for you to go to bed, Kouji," she said. 

"But Hikari-san...!" he begged. 

"Come on," I heard a voice say. Must be Kouji's stepdad. 

"I think it's time for bed too," she said. 

"But I'm not sleepy!" I said. Mummy is mean! She laughed. 

"I know you're not, but I am! I have work! You wouldn't want to keep me awake, would you?" 

"No, I'm sorry, Mummy. I won't go to sleep, but I'll lie down with my eyes closed and be as quiet as a mouse," I said. Poor Mummy works too hard. And she does it because she loves me. 

"I'd better go then," Hikari said. "Goodnight Shun'u. Don't forget, we'll always be here. Goodnight Sorcha. Sleep well everyone, see you all tomorrow!" Mummy put down the phone and turned out the lights. I wriggled my futon next to her and curled up in Mummy's arms. I'm not alone and Daddy will be back soon. I know it. Bran told me.   


********* 

"Uh, Hikari-chan?" asked Sorcha nervously. "When are we going to tell the boys about the facts of life? I _still_ haven't explained to Shun'u what a hermaphrodite is!" 

"When they ask," Hikari replied, waddling along. Her belly was getting large now and she was having trouble walking easily. "Phew!" she added, "I'll have to stop doing this!" 

"That's okay, since my promotion I've been able to drop them at school and pick them up. You know that, why do you keep doing this?" Sorcha asked. 

"No point in doing nothing. I mean, I'm on maternity leave and bored sick. I don't want to get lazy," Hikari panted, "but all the same, it's lucky you got that promotion. Good timing." 

"I want to get some better furniture," Sorcha said, "with the extra money. After that, who knows? Maybe a better place to live. I can afford a higher rent now, and our place is a flea pit if I ever saw one." 

"That's good news then," Hikari said, trying to keep up. Sorcha sighed. Hikari looked at her friend. "What's up?" she asked. 

"I'm still on the topic of sex-ed. Hikari, I just don't know what to do! Kids can be cruel and well... what if they start calling Shun-chan names? Because he's illegitimate," Sorcha whispered the last sentence. She watched Shun'u running ahead with Kouji. 

Hikari sighed. "This baby'll be born out of wedlock too, remember? But I don't think it matters. They are loved, that's what counts. What about Kouji? His Mum left him, but that doesn't matter, he's perfect. Well, he's a real ratbag at times and speaks with in the broadest Kansai dialect I have ever heard in a kid his age, but apart from that...!" 

"Maybe you're right," Sorcha replied, cheering up, "especially about the dialect bit. Shun'u started off speaking like he was from Tokyo and now he speaks just like the locals, even though neither of us have picked it up." 

"Of course I'm right, baka!" Hikari laughed. "I'm the older and wiser about. Except when it comes to giving birth, so you'd better fill me in on all the details." 

"Hikari-chan!" Sorcha gasped, embarrassed. "We're in the street! This is hardly the place to talk about it!" 

Hikari grinned wickedly. "Hey, you brought up the topic of sex, not me! C'mon, let's scare the people!" she giggled. 

"If you must know, I barely remember. I was drugged up so I wouldn't feel anything," Sorcha said, indignantly, "remember, I _was_ only seventeen." 

"I guess I'll have to find out for myself," Hikari said, disappointed about not hearing all the gory details. 

"Just one month to go!" Sorcha grinned, sensing her friend's disappointment. Hikari let out a happy squeal. 

They finally reached the school gates and kissed their respective children farewell. 

"Bye Mummy!" Shun'u called. 

"Bye Hikari-san!" Kouji waved, hugging Hikari's big belly. "Bye Otouto!" 

"That's so cute! He already calls it 'little brother'!" Sorcha said. 

Hikari watched Kouji sadly. "And he still calls me 'Hikari-san'. Not Okaa-san or even Hikari-chan, but Hikari-san." 

"You know he thinks of you as his mother. Why does it bother you? If it bothers you, why don't you ask him to change what he calls you?" Sorcha asked. 

"I'm too embarrassed. I'm afraid he'd refuse," Hikari said, softly. 

"Don't be. He loves you. I think he's afraid you'd be offended if he called you 'Hikari-chan' or 'Okaa-chan'. He counts the baby as a sibling, remember? That counts for something," Sorcha pointed out. 

As they started walking to the cafe where Sorcha worked, she decided to change the subject. 

"What does your partner think of all this?" Sorcha asked. 

"He's ecstatic! He loves kids! But lately, he's spent late nights at the office. I think he misses the regular sex, to be honest!" Hikari laughed. A woman stared at her from the street and Hikari poked out her tongue. "Haven't you ever seen a pregnant woman before?!" she called. She turned back to Sorcha, mock-indignant. "Honestly, people are so rude!" She noticed Sorcha's face then and asked, "Hey, what's up, Sorcha-chan? _Still_ on the topic of sex-education?" 

"No!" laughed Sorcha, snapping out of her trance, "I was just thinking how little I get to see Hiro-san. The last time I saw him was ages ago. I'll probably get to see him at the baby's Christening though." 

"Christening? Oh yes, you're Catholic. No, I'm Shinto. He won't be Christened," Hikari replied, "still, I'm not surprised you haven't seen Hiro-chan very much. After all, he's very busy." She sighed. "He usually gets home at 6pm but now I'm pregnant, I sometimes see him during the day." 

"It must be hard," Sorcha sympathised. 

"It is," Hikari agreed, surprising herself. "It is."   


Kouji

_Note: Kouji calls his stepfather "Uncle" to show how close he is to him. He calls Hikari, "Hikari-san", which is very formal. No one is quite sure why, Sorcha and even Shun'u (occasionally) calls her "Hikari-chan". Kouji calls Sorcha by her Japanese name, "Sora" (sky)._

The waitin' room is cold an' boring. You can read but there's nothin' good. All that's on TV is the news. The toys are okay but real old an' we've been here for ages. Shun'u don' even have Bran, he left him at home. Shun'u ain't real happy about that. He's bored too, but he don' even really hafta be here. I don' think his Okaa wants to go though. She wants to see Hikari-san's baby an' besides, she can' leave me on my own. Uncle is in with Hikari-san. That means there's no one to look after me 'cept Sora-san. 

I go up to Shun'-kun who is bored too. 

"Shun'?" I ask, real quiet, "I'm scared." 

"What for?" Shun'u asks me, real quietly back. He an' me don' like lookin' scared. "Hikari-san'll be fine." 

"Yeah, but what's gonna happen when Hikari-san has her baby? She'll be too busy, who's gunna look after me? Will I hafta go to my real Okaa? I don' wanna go! I don' even remember her!" I say, quiet. 

"You don' hafta go. You promised you wouldn' go! You can stay with Mummy an' Bran an' me," Shun'u says to me. 

"I wonder where Okaa-san is now," I say. 

"Mebbe she's with my Daddy," Shun'u says, thoughtfully. 

"Mebbe," I agree. We're quiet after that. After a while, a nurse dressed completely in green comes out to see us. 

"You're waiting to see Hito Hikari? She's ready to see you." We followed the green nurse along lotsa corridors. 

"Why're ya dressed in green an' the other nurses aren't?" I asked, curiously. 

"Because they've got no fashion sense," she replied, crisply, "although technically, I'm not a nurse yet, I'm at my final year at uni." The big words made no sense to me so I jus' shut my mouth an' nodded. 

"Is she your mother?" the nurse asked. Sora-san looked at me. 

"No," I said, addin' quickly, "but she's my stepmother." The nurse nodded and opened the door to Hikari-san's room. Uncle looked up, beamin', an' Hikari-san smiled up at us, lookin' tired. In her arms was a small bundle. I thought it was a pillow or somethin' but she called me over an' said to it, 

"This is your Onii-san." I looked down at it. Pink face. Pink ears. Two ears, a nose and ten little toes. It was perfect. 

"Oh! Adorable!" Sorcha squealed. She clapped her hands together, sayin', "What're you going to call it?" 

Hikari-san smiled at me. "I thought we could let Kouji choose. It is his brother too, after all." 

"Me?!" I asked. My smile nearly ripped my face in two. I looked down at the baby an' tried to think of a name. A good name. 

"Why don't you hold him?" Uncle suggested. I scooped it up. It was real heavy an' gurgled like a sink havin' milk poured down it at me. But I couldn' call it 'nagashi' [sink]. Then I knew what to call him. 

"Hikari-san?" 

"Yes?" 

"Can we call it 'Fuyu' [winter]?" I asked. Shun'u cheered. 

"Yeah! Call it Fuyu! An' then ya can have three other babies for the other seasons!" 

Hikari laughed an' took Fuyu from me. "I think two is enough for me!" she said. 

"Two? What do ya mean? Are ya havin' another baby?" I asked. She looked at me, real surprised. 

"I meant you, Kouji," she said. I felt my eyes fill with tears but I blinked 'em away so I didn' look like I was blubbin' or anythin'. 

"Th-thankyou... Hikari-chan," I said, because then I knew everythin' would be alright. That Hikari thought of me like her kid too. That she wouldn' forget me. Hikari's eyes filled with tears an' I realised that I'd called her Hikari-chan for the firs' time. And she liked it. 

"Hikari-chan?" I asked. 

"Yes?" she asked, tryin' not to sob. 

"Is it a girl or a boy?" I asked, lookin' down at the blob of a baby. She blinked. 

"It's a boy," she said. 

"I have an otouto!" I said, happily. "I knew it!" Then I hesitated, before askin', "Hikari-chan?" 

"Yes?" The answer sounded all worried. 

"He won' let go of my finger!"   


Shun'u

After Fuyu was born, everythin' seemed to be gettin' better. I was gettin' good grades at school an' Mum was real proud'a me. Things were all happy an' everyday seemed so good that only a few things from then really stick out in m'mind. The firs' one is my eighth birthday. 

Me an' Kouji's seventh birthdays weren' that special. Hikari was really pregnant and it was no fun, but the eight ones were good. Kouji had a party for his. He's older'n me an' because his stepdad was outta town, he celebrated his birthday early with him an' Hikari, then on his birthday, he had a party. I came an' even though I din' give's a real good present, 'e was happy I came. 

My birthday was differen'. I asked Mum if we could celebrate it. She shot a sad look at Hikari-chan as if ta say, 'Whadda we do 'bout money?' 

I said, real quick, "Don' worry, I jus' wan' it a be with us four. I don' what." 

An' that's how Hikari wound up takin' me, Mum, Kouji and herself to eat at the new restaurant on our street. She'n Kouji'd eaten there before an' they said it was good fer a feed an' not that expensive. But things weren' all that good. The waiter kept callin' Mum'n me Hikari an' Kouji's 'visitors' an' when we tried to order our food, he spoke real slow to me, as if I was stupid or somethin'. I figgered mebbe he was an' asked Mum, in front of him, 

"Why's he talkin' all funny? Is he stupid or somethin'? Should I talk slow back?" 

Mum said, lookin' straight at him, "Ignore him, Shun'u-chan, he's being very rude becaus he thinks we're gaijin [foreigners]." 

The waiter turned bright red an' when our food arrived, it was with a waitress instead. She wasn' much better. She kept lookin' at m'n Mum's hair and said, 

"Where're ya from?" 

"Down the road," Mum said, stiffly. 

"I mean, what country're ya from?" the waitress said. 

"Japan," Mum said, "My son and I were born here." 

"Nah," the waitress said, soundin' angry, "I mean _before_." 

"Ireland," I said, tryin' to shut 'er up. The waitress smiled at me an' put my food down. She did everyone else's food an' then walked off. It was good food an' we talked for a while, but Mum's lips were pursed together like she was angry, an' the other customers kept givin' us funny looks. After we left, she spoke angryily about the rude people to Hikari, while Kouji'n me played with my presents in my room. 

The other thing I remember well from then was more important, but it didn' seem that way at the time. Fuyu was a toddler an' about two. Me'n Kouji were nearly nine. Hikari and Mum were busy an' it was at my house but Kouji'n me were real hungry an' tryin' to cook somethin', I can' remember what. Problem was, no matter how long we put it in the oven, it wouldn' go hot. Then Kouji came up with this bright idea when he saw Fuyu goin' past. 

"I know! Let's put Fuyu in the oven! He's smart an' if it gets hot, he'll tell us, right?" 

"Car!" Fuyu said, holding up his toy train. 

"I think that means 'yeah'," I said. So we put him in the oven an' turned it on, but left the door open a bit so we could hear him. All we could hear were 'brrm brrm' noises as he played with his train. Nothin' happened an' after a while, Hikari came along and asked us, 

"Where's Fuyu?" 

"Oh, he's in the oven," Kouji said. 

"WHAT?!" she snapped. 

"That's okay, it's not workin'," I said, cheerfully. She peered at the oven, turned it off and pulled Fuyu out. 

"Car!" he said, happily, holding up the train. She put her hand in the oven an' pulled it out with relief. 

"Cold," she said. She then looked at us, real angry. I dunno why. "What in the world were you thinking?! You don't put your brother in the oven!" 

"But it wasn' workin'!" Kouji whined. 

"That's not the point! What if it was!" she snapped. 

"He would've said an' we'd've got'm out," I said. Mum came along then an' Hikari told 'er what happened. They yelled at us for a while then called the oven-repair man. They laughed about it later though, after dinner. They were jus' happy Fuyu was okay. They made us promise never to go in the oven again or put anythin' in it except for food. The same went for the washin' and dryin' machines and the vacuum cleaner. The vacuum cleaner bit was annoyin' because Kouji'n me liked makin' it be a hurricane when we played with our toys, but that was okay.   


Kouji

The oven-repair man came the next day. It was a Saturday an' Shun'u'n me watched him. Well, really, I watched 'im an' Shun'u made stuff out of paper. He's weird, he likes making stuff. Some of it is cool, like paper swords an' stuff, some've it is weird. He once made a fan and kept whackin' me with it an' going 'Rekka Shinen.' Some of it is really weird. He likes makin' jewelery an' stuff. He made a necklace for his Sorcha-san's birthday and now was making another necklace now, a small and stumpy one. His Mum's had beads, this one didn'. I jus' watched the oven guy so that if our oven breaks, I can fix it. The man was friendly an' showed me where all the wires go. 

"C'mon, Kouji! I wanna play now!" Shun'u whined. 

"It's _your_ oven! You should be watchin' too!" I said. "You're jus' making necklaces like a girl!" Shun'u picked up the necklace an' put it on me, sayin', 

"See! It's not a girl necklace! You're wearin' it!" 

"Hikari-chan! Sora-san! Shun'u put a necklace on me!" I called. 

"Dobber!" Shun'u said, "An' it's not a girl's necklace anyway!" Sora-san came up an' looked at me. 

"Actually, Shun'u's right. It's a torc, Irish men used to wear them. I think I might have a picture somewhere," she said. She looked around in a drawer, which I don' think I've ever seen open before. Shun'u an' I looked over her shoulder. 

"What's that?" Shun'u asked. 

"A photo album. You can get it out, if you want, but that's not what I was looking for. Ah, here it is!" Sora pulled out a big book. 

"What is it?" I asked. 

"A book of Irish myths," Sora-san replied. Shun'u looked distant. 

"I remember Daddy reading these to me. Why'd ya put it away?" he asked. 

"I can't read English," Sora-san said, sadly. She flicked through the pages an' found a picture. In it was a picture of a man wearing a necklace like the one Shun'u made, but made of metal. "A torc," Sora-san said. She sighed. "I wish I could read it, there are some great stories in here, but they're all in English. Maybe if you keep studying hard, you'll be able to read it someday, Shun-chan." 

"Sensei sez that if I keep readin' stuff in English, I'll be really ahead an' all," Shun'u said. He looked inside the book. "It's too hard," he said, disappointed. 

"You might be able to read the captions in the photo albums, they're short," Sora-san said. Shun'u looked in it. 

"Hey! I can see my name! Is that me, Mum?" he asked. He always calls his Okaa 'Mum'. I dunno why. 

"Yeah, that's you. And that's your Daddy," Sora-san said. Shun'u looked at it. 

"Daddy," he whispered. He turned back to the drawer. "Do you have anythin' else in English I can read Mum. This is hard." He pulled out a letter. "What about this?" He pulled out a letter. 

"That'd be too hard," Sora-san snapped an' put it back. Something was up. Shun'u looked at me an' put the photo album back. But we kept the picture book an' after a few months, Shun'u had read the whole thing and translated it. He can speak English, which is really cool. I'm not good at English an' can' read it at all, but Shun'u learnt to read an' now he can talk English real easy. I wish I was smart like him. I'm not good at anythin'. He always gets good grades and his Mummy smiles. Hikari smiles at my grades but I know that Uncle wishes I did better. I wish I did. I wish I was smart.   


*********** 

Shun'u looked again at the translation of the letter. It was on his bed and he still couldn't believe what it said. He read it once again then sobbed. The tears kept going down his face and wouldn't stop. 

"Mum! Mum!" he wailed. Sorcha ran in the room. 

"What is is?" she asked. She saw his face. "Are you hurt?" 

"Read this," he said, pushing both the original letter and the translation in her hands. Her face hardened. 

"I thought I told you not to go near that drawer," she snapped. 

"Read it!" Shun'u wailed, nearly hysterical. She did so. Then she broke down too, both of them crying on the bed together. The letter and its translation fell on the floor. 

_Dear SorchaO'Malley,_

_My name is Eliza and I am writing to you about Finn, my brother. There is no easy way to say this. He is dead. He died a week ago in a car accident. I am truly sorry for your loss. I know he loves you and his son. I know that he intended to return to Japan today, the day I post this. I found the plane ticket on his dresser, with the engagement ring he wished to give you. He spoke of nothing but you when he was here, and his father was overjoyed to hear about his grandson. Finn's funeral is on the 28th, we welcome you, if you can make it. I am truly sorry about this, and wish I could meet you. If you wish, call me, the number is on the bottom of this letter. I know my brother loved you and he felt no pain as he died, it was instantaneous. Please, forgive him for coming to Ireland. It is a tragic irony that he came to farewell his father but died himself, while his father lives._

_With deepest sympathy,_   
_Eliza O'Malley_

************ 

Shun'u

"He's dead, Hikari, he's dead!" 

"Finn." 

"He was dead all along, that's why he never came back. The letter... that damned letter. I couldn't read it. Shun'u translated it... Hikari, how did he do it? He's nine years old! And he's dead, he's dead, Finn's dead... he's dead..." 

"Please, do come, come soon." 

Why did I even go near the letter? Why did I even bother lookin' the past? I wasn' to know what it said, but I shouldn' have gone near it. Mum was right. Mum is always right. An' Daddy won't be coming back. He's gone. He's gone forever. He's dead. 

Hikari speaks quietly to Mum in the other room. I stay quiet in my room. Kouji doesn' know what to say. He don' have a Mum. He don' have a Dad. He don' have no one. He jus' has me, Hikari and Mum. But I had a Daddy. And now... I don't. I never did. He was dead all that time, we jus' didn' know it. This is the wors' thing that could happen. So long as we didn' know, we could always imagine Daddy comin' back. Now we know he won', he really won'. I don' know if we can ever get out of this. Everytime somethin' good happens, everytime we're happy, somethin' like this happens. Maybe this is all we have ta look forward to. Maybe we're doomed. Maybe. 

********* 

Kouji

I don' understand, I don' think I ever really will. I've always been alone like this. What I think is that it's not so much Shun'us father which mattered, it was the idea of him. That he would come back. Now that's gone too. Shun'u won' stop cryin'. I don' think it's him so much as his mother which is crying. She's cryin' out of him too. How could he miss someone he barely even remembers? I don' understand. 

Shun'u's lookin' up at me now. His eyes are as red as his hair. He looks pale. 

"Wilya always be there, Kouji? Always?" I can' look at his eyes. I dunno if I can. Always is a long time. A real long time. It's forever. Like when we're old and dyin'. But this is Shun'u. He's everythin'. Hikari loves me but Fuyu is her son. Not me. Never me. All I have is Shun-chan. He's like my brother. I've gotta be there for him. Gotta. 

I hug Shun'u, feelin' stupid, and say, "I swear. I swear I'll always be there. We promised, remember?" An' we did. A long time ago, but we did. 

Shun'u looks up at me. "Yeah, we did, didn' we? But it was differen', wasn' it?" He looks at Bran. "Why did he go, Bran? Why did he have to die?" Bran says nothin'. "Answer me, dammit!" he yells in English. He picks up Bran an' throws him at the wall. Bran stays where he lands, in a pile on the floor. Shun'u's looks back at me. "He won't talk. He doesn't talk anymore. I don't think he'll ever talk again." And he starts to cry again, because we both know it's true, Bran's gone forever. But Shun'u won't get rid of him, never. He's special. Shun'u curls up into a ball, his face in his knees. 

"Don' cry. You've still got me," I say. Shun'u looks tearfully up at me. 

"You're right..." he says, slowly. "Kouji?" 

"Yeah?" I ask. 

"Y'know how in that book we got in the library, the people became blood brothers... let's do that," Shun'u says. I nod. 

"Yeah, cuz we're brothers already, this just makes it real," I say. He nods too. We both look around. "Whadda we use to cut our fingers with?" I ask. Shun'u fingers his teeth. I wince an' hold out my finger. He bites it carefully an' the blood wells up. "If I feel ya suckin', I'm runnin', 'kay?" I ask, laughin' nervously. Shun'u shoots a fanged grin at me then bites his own finger. The blood comes out and we hold our fingers together, then wrap a tissue around the bleeding. It turns red, soaking up out blood. Our blood. We don' know whose is whose now, it's just ours. We're brothers. And we sit together, listening to Sora-san crying to Hikari-chan in the next room, wondering if they feel the same.   
  
  


**Skipsida's Ravings:******

And about time! It's over! This has been a long and emotional chapter and been greatly delayed in its writing. The first page or so took three weeks to write. The rest I wrote today. I got over my writers block because the best part is coming up! Beware, angst is emerging! They still are cute little kids though, wait until they get older! 

Originally this chapter was to be longer, up to when Genrou was thirteen (and gained the name "Genrou"), but I figured this was as good a place as any to stop. So I stopped! :-P 

No, seriously, I thought I'd better not keep you, the loyal readers *nervously, wondering if everyone's forgotten about this fic* waiting. 

So what's happened to me in this time? Well, I've got a third set of holes put in my ears and written 60 pages for my original fic, the main reason this has been delayed for so long. Does anyone feel like reading my original fic? Email me or leave a review and who knows, I might put it up. I must warn you, it's pretty long. Longer than "What if" by far! And it's still incompleted. *sighs* Sometimes I feel as if I'll never finish everything I write. But this is half way through and I'm planning the Ryuuen chapter and am thinking about writing a humour piece for Ashitare (unrelated to "What if"). I've had the humour bug lately so it's been hard to write angst. 

So, what did everyone think of this chapter? Did you remember I'm still here? *waves* Hi! Now for....   


**What about... the akugi #1?******

Kouji: What do we use to cut ourselves with?   
Shun'u: *pulls out razor blade* What else? All good depressives can't live without these!   
Kouji: Don't you mean die?   
Skipsida: *runs in* Ew! Suicide jokes! Cut it out! *takes razor blade and throws it in the bin*   
Shun'u: Noooo! How can I die... er, I mean LIVE without it?   
Skipsida: Let's end this akugi here, okay? *shakes head* 

**What about... the akugi #2?******

Kouji: What do we use to cut ourselves with?   
Shun'u: *fingers teeth*   
Kouji: O.O WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR TEETH THERE?!   
Skipsida: AH! Hentai! *slaps them both* 

**What about the clean and non-perverted or suicidal akugi #3?******

Kouji: What do we use to cut ourselves with?   
Shun'u: *fingers teeth*   
Kouji: Wow, Shun'u! You've got teeth like a vampire! Uh... why are you biting my neck?  
Shun'u: Count Tasukula at your service!   
Kouji: *vampirised* Vee are zee gruezome twosome! *dramatic poses with dark cloaks* 


	5. Chapter 3 Wolf Pack

**Disclaimer: **I'm too tired to think of a decent excuse for not own Fushigi Yuugi. Make up your own. 

**A huge wait... again.** I'm dying from over-work. I swear, year 12 is going to kill me! Only a few months left before freedom but the worst is still yet to come... *sobs* I am sooooo doomed! I'm sorry for this being late, but this has been a stressful time, what with studying for exams (some of which count for 50% of my mark. First one in on November the 6th, I think, wish me luck), completing major assignments in every subject, worth up to 20% of my mark, family troubles, personal issues, apocalypses, allergies to wheat, purple socks getting holes in them, and the like. In other words, I've been traumatised, overworked, underpaid and deprived of anime. 

Anyway.... back to the note. Uh, what was I saying? Okay, well here is the next chapter (and about time too). And hey, if you've got the music to _Heart ni KIRAboshi Sakashitare (Make Twinkling Stars Bloom in Your Heart)_ or _Bastard Son _(by George, a great Aussie band. They won an _Aria_ award! Coolness!) whether it be on CD, MP3, whatever, get ready to play it, there's BGM for this! If not, hum, imagine the music or look confused if you've never heard it before! 

**Chapter 3 - Wolf pack**

"One black coffee to go," Sorcha said, dully, placing the order down on the customer's table. 

"Thankyou," the customer smiled in reply. Sorcha looked down at him in surprise, hearing his voice. 

"Well, look who's here!" she said in mock-surprise. "I thought you'd strayed from the path and converted to another noodlebar!" 

"I did for a while, but I have seen the light!" the customer grinned in reply. 

It was a running joke amongst those in Sorcha's noodle-bar that it was a religion, as everyone worshipped the food. It had started when someone said, "This is food fit for a god!" and the cook poked his head out of the kitchen, grinning, and replied, "Don't you mean cooked by a god?" Everyone had laughed at that point, because at two hundred kilos, with excess body hair and a bushy beard, the cook was anything but a god, however, he was good-natured and funny, so the joke stuck. 

"Very wise," Sorcha replied, taking away his empty plate. 

"Sora," the customer read off her name-tag. 

"The one and only," Sorcha said, in an effort at lightheartedness, "but I do not believe I know your name." The customer looked surprised. "Well, you may be a regular, but this place is usually busy, so how am I supposed to know everyone's name?" she asked, defensively. 

"It's Haruka Yume," the customer said, slowly, regarding her. His eyes searched her face and she felt uncomfortable, especially as his gaze flicked to her hair, which she had braided to keep out of her face. She left with his plate, inwardly groaning at the inevitable questions about her background, which she would have to face to give him the bill. 

Much to her surprise though, they didn't come. Yume instead asked, 

"Why so sad? You look like you've died inside." He added, jokingly, "I know you've missed me, but that's no reason to get depressed!" 

Sorcha blinked in surprise, and for the first time, really looked at him. He looked to be in his early to mid-thirties, and didn't look any different to anyone else, yet he was different. In a place where businessmen poured out their troubles to the waitresses, not expecting a reply, he had asked about _her_. 

"It's personal," she said, stiffly, and put the bill down on the table. Yume looked at her perceptively. 

"Don't mourn forever," he said, softly, "hold onto some hope." Sorcha felt her eyes fill with tears, as he had hit a sensitive spot, the reason behind her worries. In the months since Shun'u had translated the letter, she'd felt herself fall into a downward spiral, as she wondered whether each day would be the same: mundane and pointless, without hope or happiness. 

She looked away, to hide her face, and said, equally quietly, "My son is my hope." 

"But what of your own?" Yume asked. "What do you have?" 

He handed her the money paying for his lunch, picked up his coffee, and said, 

"Don't let yourself get down, or you might never climb up again. I know. I've been there, but I survived." 

He gave her a sympathetic smile, then picked up his satchel with his other hand, which looked heavy and must have contained a laptop. 

"Back to the fun world of buying and selling shares," he groaned. 

Sorcha watched him go, her eyes fixed on him, then she slowly placed the money into the till.   
  


Shun'u

Mum has died inside. I can feel it. She looks completely empty, as if part of her died when hearin' about Daddy's death. She breathes, she walks, but when I see her face, she don' look as if she's really there. She's like a zombie. It's scary. 

I'm walkin' home at the moment, Kouji an' Hikari have to go somewhere this afternoon, or I'd go to their place. 

As I reach the door, I know Mum's inside, I can hear her movin' about. I enter, knowin' what I'll find: Mum, soakin' her feet in a tub. She works too damn hard, waitressin' hurts her feet, but she still does it. Cos of me. 

But I don' find that. I find the smell of bakin', like when I was a little kid, an' Mum would make me cookies or a nice dessert for a treat. It wasn' jus' as a little either, she only stopped when I found the letter. That damn letter. 

Mum is wearin' her favourite slippers an' when I see her face, she smiles at me, like before. 

"Mum?" I ask. I can't help myself. No greeting, jus' a question. Is she back? Will she stay? Or will she go back to the way she is every day now? 

She smiles at me and offers me a cookie. 

"They were Finn's favourite," she said, an' there's a little sadness in her voice, but she takes one herself an' bites into it. Her face relaxes an' I could swear that she's thinkin' about Daddy. 

I take one an' my hands shake, cos I know that Mum's back, here to stay. I dunno how, but she's back to normal again.   


********** 

"A date? Oh, that's terrific, Sora-chan!" 

"I guess." 

"You don't sound so enthusiastic, what's wrong?" 

"It doesn't feel right, Hikari-chan. Like I shouldn't. Finn..." 

"Oh." 

"..." 

"Sora-chan, don't torture yourself. I don't see anything wrong with grieving, but after you found out about Finn's death, you became consumed by it, as if there was no room in your head for anything else. This man-" 

"Haruka Yume." 

"Yes, Haruka-san, he has made you happy again. Even when I first met you, when Finn didn't come back, you had never fallen that low. You held onto your spirit. And Haruka-san restored it to you when you lost it, you've been so much happier in this last month" 

"Yume-san did nothing." 

"Is that so? Then who did?" 

"..." 

"Sora-chan, don't be so hard-hearted. It is just one date. Give the poor man some credit, he's giving you a free meal! What could possibly go wrong?" 

"I might fall in love with him." 

"Is that it then? You refuse to love anyone else? Whether you do or not, it doesn't matter, there's always room in your heart for love. Don't think it will belittle Finn, from what I hear, that's impossible!" 

"You don't understand!" 

"Understand that you're afraid to love? Afraid to hope again?" 

"Hikari-chan!" 

"Listen Sora-chan, if you don't say yes to him, I'll drag you there myself! Stop being so afraid! Live a little!" 

"You're being stupid!" 

"No, you are. But I've got to go. Hiro-chan has come home early tonight, I can hear him coming now. Bye!" 

"Bye." 

Sorcha hung up the phone, feeling uneasy. She had always intended to go, if only for the free food, but Hikari had hit a nerve. 

"I won't let myself fall in love," she silently promised herself. She sighed. "But I already have."   
  


_On the other side of the phone_

Hikari hung up the phone, her hands shaking in excitement and worry. Hiro had been home so late lately, ever since Fuyu had been born, really. The times changed, there was a while when he had come home in time for dinner every day, and times when he arrived at midnight. Nine pm was an improvement, and today he was here at seven-thirty. 

Hiro had apologised for his odd hours when they started, saying it was unavoidable, he had to stay late to do paperwork at times, and at other times, he had to catch the overseas stock-markets. Hikari wasn't sure how much of this to believe. The stock-market bit seemed believable, he was a shrewd businessman with shares in many foreign companies, but as for the paperwork... well, he worked in real estate, and was fairly high-ranking. Why couldn't he do it during the day? There were times he stayed at home until noon, others he left before she awoke, and she was worried about him. He still acted normally, cheerful and somehow energetic, despite his odd sleeping pattern, but she worried never-the-less. 

And she worried about why he acted so formal now. 

_Where has all his warmth gone?_ she wondered, sadly. _He only ever shows it to Fuyu. I know that he isn't doing this because he hates our children, it's the opposite, he loves them. Maybe more than he loves me. I am such a terrible person, a terrible mother. I shouldn't be jealous of my own children, but I am. He only ever shows his love to them now, we might as well be strangers. And only to Fuyu mainly. Kouji... he doesn't seem as close. Does he feel reminded of his ex-wife when he sees Kouji? Does he resent him? I don't understand. I don't understand._

Hikari sighed, feeling miserable. 

_Sorcha, please find happiness. At least one of us will have it. Where did this all go wrong for me? How? Everything was so perfect, so perfect. But I suppose the perfect world cannot last. Maybe there never was one in the first place. Please, Sorcha, don't fall down with me. We can't both fall into the abyss. Not both of us._   
  


Shun'u

Mum's been happier since she started goin' out with that Yume guy. I s'pose the happiness she has is cos she's in love. I dunno what to think, but it makes her happy, and that's better'n nothin'. She's out with him again now. 

At least she tells me. There's some kids at school who said that they didn' know their Mums were goin' out with anyone until soon before they got married. Mum's cool, she said I didn' have to like him if I didn' want to, and never lies or nothin'. The guy is nice, seems kinda familiar too. Mum said that she felt that when she firs' met him, says he reminds her of Daddy. Mebbe that's why she loves him, cos he's like Daddy. I know Mum hasn' forgotten Daddy or nothin', she's started mentionin' him a lot now, what he was like an' all. But she loves Yume-san too, I think. She loves 'em both, an' me most of all, maybe. She said she never lied about havin' me as a kid, didn' act ashamed, an' he just has to take it or leave it. She say's he don' care, it doesn' matter. 

It's kinda weird, bein' spoken about that way. I know Mum doesn' tell me everythin', just a lot of it, but I hear more stuff when I listen to her on the phone. I know I shouldn', but the walls are thin enough to hear through if I wanna. There's some stuff I really _don'_ wanna hear, kinda gross. But there's other stuff, useful stuff. 

Mum said that she was ashamed to show Yume our place, didn' want him to think badly've us, cos his place is all posh an' rich, an apartment which he owns an' all. Later, she said that she took when him anyway, to have dinner with us, he didn't care, but now he wants to give her a new apartment to live in, give her money. This mus' be real serious an' all, huh? 

I've told Kouji everythin' which happens, cos we're brothers, an' he tells me what's goin' on at home for him. Both of us know it's secret, cos Hikari-chan don' tell Mum about it at all. I dunno why. It's weird. So's Kouji's uncle. 

We try t' be strong an' all, despite all the weird stuff which is goin' on. The other kids haven' really noticed anythin'. They don' really care anymore, we're part of 'em now, they don' care about my hair cos I'm real good at sport an' studyin'. I think some've 'em are a bit jealous cos I'm so good at basketball, but they don' show it. It's weird, while all the bad stuff happens at home, school improves, an' now, when stuff at home gets better, stuff for Kouji gets worse. Nothin' is ever all good at once. But mebbe it'll start gettin' that way, for Kouji. He's the real star at school, everyone loves him an' I just follow along. I'm too smart to be real popular, an' I'm good at sport an' all, but everyone likes him more. I don' care, I like followin' him. Besides, he's older anyway. I'm ten now, but he's a month older, so I should look up to him an' all. The other kids do too, he's the leader for sure. We've all got nicknames an' all, but he don' have one, he's better'n all that. Me, everyone calls me "flame" cos of my hair but Kouji, he calls me Shun-chan. An' I call him Kouji.   


Kouji

Everythin' is changin'. Shun-chan's got a new house, a new Dad, an' me? I don' have anythin', except an uncle who is never there. Hikari don' say anythin', but she's worried. Uncle wasn' even there for my eleventh birthday. Shun-chan said not to worry, cos Yume isn' there much either, but that's differen'. He never was to start off with, tol' Sora-chan and Shun-chan he couldn' be cos he's too busy, cos he works mainly at night, has a night-shift. He's mos'ly free during the day, mornin' an afternoon, an' sleeps a bit while Sora-chan's at work, but he's sometimes there in the afternoon. I haven' met him, Shun-chan always is with him and Sora-chan now, or over at my place. I go over to their place sometimes, it's nice. Better'n their ol' smelly place for sure. 

Shun-chan tells me everythin'. He's happy, an' I'm happy for him, but I find most've my happiness with my friends. He's got this thing about family, but I can' get close to 'em really. Hikari-chan isn't quite a Mum, although she wants to be, an' Uncle is never there. He's my family, an' so are the other kids.   


Shun'u

For the firs' time, everythin' was perfect. But it was too perfect, wasn' it? Too good to be true.   


********* 

The bell rang and everyone waved their goodbyes to Kouji, with a few of them also farewelling Shun'u. They headed out the school gates, starting the walk home. They chattered all the way, until Shun'u tripped over and nearly banged into someone. As he straightened up, apologising, his face brightened as he saw it was Yume. 

"Hello Shun'u, Kouji," Yume said, pleasantly. His eyes then widened and he stared at them both for a second, then he shook his head. "I must apologise, I've been tired lately." He reached into his pocket and pulled out two coins. "Why don't you go buy yourselves a treat from the deli?" he said, placing a coin in each of their hands. 

Their faces lit up and they hastily said goodbye to Yume, who smiled in amusement, before they ran off to spend their newly found riches. 

They exited the deli with two icecreams, to find that Yume had left. Shun'u licked his icecream enthusiastically, and said, happily, 

"He's so generous!" 

"He's usually not like this," Kouji said, sounding puzzled, while licking a drop which was trickling down the cone. 

"Whaddya mean?" Shun'u snapped. "He's the best!" 

"How would you know?" Kouji asked, bitterly. 

"What's your problem?" Shun'u asked, exasperated. "He bought Mum and I our new house, didn't he?" 

"Uncle did _that_?!" Kouji asked. 

"Uncle?!" Shun'u said. He dropped his icecream and they stared at each other in horror. "He's... what?!" He was deathly pale, as was Kouji. Kouji's lip was trembling, and he looked as if he was about to cry. 

"He... cheated on Hikari," he said, shocked. 

"My god... but Mum musn' have known! She tol' Hikari everything about how she met'm! But... your uncle is called Hiro!" Shun'u stammered. 

"But it's the same guy, isn' it? He knew both our names, an' I've never even met Yume, an' you an' Sora-chan only have met him twice, the last time was when Fuyu was born!" Kouji whisperered. 

"An' he was fat then! Real fat! Mum musn' have recognised him!" Shun'u added. They looked at each other in panic. 

"How're we gonna tell them?" 

"We don' even know for sure." 

"But... what if... shit!" Kouji smashed his icecream into a letterbox as they passed by it, and left it there. 

"This sucks. They're gonna flip! Poor Mum..." Shun'u said, miserably, trailing off. 

"Let's not do nothin' yet, until we know for sure," Kouji said, firmly, "it'd jus' get 'em both miserable, although if he is doin' that, lyin' an' all, he'd deserve what he'd get from 'em." 

The two stopped at the crossroads, to go the seperate ways to their houses. 

"Kouji, gimme your tennis ball, I've got an idea. I'll give it to whateverhisrealnameis, an' ask him to give it back to ya. If he does, an' it's not jus' meetin' ya randomly on the street or nothin', then we'll know," Shun'u said, with some excitement. Kouji gave it to him reluctantly, it was his lucky autographed tennisball which Pat Rafter had used. He took it everywhere with him. But, for the sake of finding out the truth, he relinquished it, and Shun'u pocketed it. 

"We'll get to the bottom of this," Shun'u said, triumphantly. 

************ 

"Well, I must leave," Yume said, gathering up his bag and dressing for work. 

"Hang on, I'll get your coat, it's cold out there," Sorcha said, and she rushed off to their bedroom to find it. Shun'u found his chance, and said, once his mother was out of the room, 

"Hey, I forgot to give this back to Kouji, if you see him, can you give it to him for me?" 

Yume gave him a questioning look, as if to say, _What do you know?_ but took it all the same, as Sorcha was returning. He kissed her goodbye and left. 

************* 

"Wake up, Shun'u, it's for you," Sorcha said, pushing the phone in Shun'u's face. He groaned and rolled over. 

"Go 'way," he muttered, voice thick with sleep. 

"It's Kouji," Sorcha insisted, "he said it was important." 

Shun'u's eyes snapped open and he shooed his mother away, snatching the portable phone from her hands. 

"I got the tennis ball," Kouji said, brightly, "thanks." 

Shun'u blinked. Kouji was sounding far too perky. He figured that Hikari must be listening to him. After all, it was - he looked at the clock - eleven-thirty, and although they occasionally called each other at odd hours, their parents generally didn't like it much, and stood by the phone to make sure they didn't talk too long. 

"When did he get home?" Shun'u asked, urgently. 

"Just now, why?" Kouji asked. There was some words in the background, and Shun'u guessed it was Hikari. 

"Listen, man, we need t' talk, meet you tomorrow at the usual place but half an hour early, okay?" Shun'u asked. 

"Why?" Kouji asked. Shun'u didn't get to answer, Hikari grabbed the phone and said, 

"Isn't it a bit late? Sorry, Shun'u, but it's a school day, if you carry on like this, you'll be up all night. Remember what happened last time?" 

Shun'u grinned. Hikari had caught Kouji on the phone at 4am, and the next day, she'd been called by the school, to be told that Kouji had fallen asleep in class and was in no fit state to study. 

"Yes, Hikari-chan," he chimed, dutifully. 

"Good night, then. I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow," Hikari said, then hung up. 

Shun'u shook his head, thoughts buzzing through it anxiously. 

_Yume... Hiro... - I dunno what t' call him now! - he left at six-thirty... what did he do in those extra five hours?_   


********** 

Shun'u woke up earlier than usual and, resisting the urge to fall straight back to sleep, leapt out of bed and pulled on his school uniform, glaring at his reflection in the mirror. 

"Stupid uniform," he muttered, and shoved some clothes in his bag, hoping to change later on. 

He grabbed an apple and took a bite, then swore as his fangs got stuck in it and he couldn't pull them out. He finally got a knife and sliced it off and ate the pieces. He took a swig of milk from the carton, leaving twin holes in the top, and made his lunch, making a huge mess everywhere and being forced to clean it up. 

_I'm not a morning person_ he thought, regretting having left his warm bed. 

As he headed towards the bathroom, he ran his fingers through his hair, tidying it up. He stopped dead as he heard noises coming from it. He peeked his head around the door and saw the hunched figure of Sorcha, being violently ill into the toilet. 

"Are ya okay, Mum?" he asked, feeling stupid. 

Sorcha wiped her mouth and looked at him, a shaky smile on her face. 

"I'm fine," she said, weakly. 

"What's wrong? Ya ill?" Shun'u asked, concerned. 

"No, really, I'm fine," Sorcha insisted, standing up. She walked out of the bathroom, elegant in her long dressing-gown, and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs. She turned to watch him as he brushed his teeth, and as he came out the door again, she said, hesitantly, 

"Shun'u? I'm pregnant, you're going to have a little or brother or sister." 

As Shun'u walked towards her, he could see that she was bursting with joy and excitement. 

"Isn't that terrific?" she asked, happily. 

Shun'u could feel his eyes filling with tears. 

"Sure, Mum," he replied, looking away. He added, quickly, "Well, gotta run, I'm meetin' Kouji!" 

"So _that's_ what he was calling you about!" Sorcha said, sounding a bit exasperated, but her good mood was undampened. 

"Yeah. Bye!" Shun'u said, running out the door. 

It was only once he was out the hall, down the stairs and out of the building did he let himself burst into tears of rage. 

"You bastard!" he screamed to the world in general. He picked up a rock and threw it at bin with all his might. It topped over and he kicked it again and again, all the time wishing it was Yume's head. He picked up the bin and hurled it at the ground, making a huge dent in the metal bin, and spewing garbage everywhere. 

"I wish you were dead!" he bellowed. 

Then he ran, ran to the meeting place, the crossroads between his house and Kouji's. 

Kouji was already there, and Shun'u wiped the tears away from his face in embarassment. It was too late, at the sight of them, Kouji turned pale. 

"What happened?" he asked. 

"It's Mum. She's pregnant," Shun'u whispered. 

"Shit..." Kouji muttered. They looked at each other, helplessly. 

"What're we gonna do now?" Shun'u asked, looking to Kouji for leadership as he always did. 

"I dunno," Kouji said, "I really don' know." 

He sighed, defeated. 

"This is so screwed up," he muttered. 

"An' that's not all. He spends late night an' early mornin' with you 'n Hikari, right?" Shun'u asked, already knowing the answer. Kouji nodded. "He spends the late morning and the afternoon with us. What does he do in the rest of the time? Work? Cos he told us he worked at night, he tells you he works during the day an' late at night. So when does he really work? What'f he's doin' something illegal? If he did this to our Mum's - an' he must've known Mum when he saw her, there aren' many red-heads around here - I bet he'd do anythin'." 

"We should follow him," Kouji said, sounding depressed. 

"Yeah, we should," Shun'u said, jumping into action. 

"I didn' really mean it-" Kouji started but Shun'u had already ran to a nearby pay-phone and started dialing. 

"What're ya-" Kouji started, running after him, but Shun'u had already shoved the phone in his face and hissed urgently, 

"Do Mum! Say we're ill!" 

Kouji groaned. They'd occasionally done this before, and it sometimes worked, Kouji was a genius at imitating voices, but this time he didn't even have a story planned! 

"Hello?" came the voice from the phone. 

"Yes, hello, this is Omari Sora, I'm calling to tell you that Yamada Kouji and Omari Shun'u won't be in school today. They've got... uh... small pox," Kouji said in Sorcha's voice. 

Shun'u hissed in his ear, 

"No such thing as small pox any more!" 

"Sorry, I mean, chicken pox," Kouji added, hastily, "my Japanese isn't very good." 

"Phew, they'll buy it, the racist bastards," Shun'u said, in relief. 

Meanwhile, Kouji was enjoying himself. 

"Oh yes, _very_ contagious! Yes, at least a week, maybe more!" 

"Enough!" snapped Shun'u, practically dragging Kouji away from the phone. 

"Sorry, dahlin', must fly! Shun'u's being sick again!" Kouji trilled, before hanging up, grinning. 

"Being sick?!" asked Shun'u, with a deadly cold voice. 

"Well, you were spewing at me," Kouji smirked. Shun'u sighed. 

"Tragic," he muttered. 

"Well, at least we'll be excused from school for a while," Kouji pointed out. 

"What time does Yume... I mean, Hiro, usually leave?" Shun'u asked. 

"Any second now. Run!" Kouji said. They ran to few blocks to Kouji's apartment building, just in time to see Yume walk out the door. 

"Follow him!" Shun'u hissed. Kouji immedially started sneaking. 

"Don't be stupid!" Shun'u whispered, "people will stare! Look normal!" 

Kouji saw the sense in this, and they walked briskly behind Yume, keeping him in sight. Yume didn't turn around once, not suspecting a thing, and they followed him for a few minutes before he entered an apartment building. 

"What?!" asked Kouji, stopping dead. 

"You've gotta be friggin' kiddin' me!" Shun'u said, incredulously. "He's seeing _another_ woman?!" 

They hesitated, and in the meantime, Yume walked into a lift. 

"Shit! We'd better take the stairs!" Kouji ordered. He sped up the stairs, pausing at the first floor to see if Yume was getting off. Shun'u sped on ahead, waiting at the second floor. Once it was clear that Yume wasn't getting off, Kouji ran past Shun'u's floor, pausing at the third floor. Shun'u caught on, and ran up to the fourth floor. They repeated this cycle for a few levels until Shun'u spotted Yume walking down the corridor. 

"Quick!" he called to Kouji below him. Kouji ran up the stairs, panting, as they'd travelled about 10 floors by that point. They watched as Yume entered a room, then paused. 

"Now what?" asked Shun'u. 

"He might be with someone," said Kouji, considering. He grinned cruelly. "Let's see!" He pointed to the fire escape, and they climbed the stairs and peeked in his window. They were disappointed to find him alone. He had his laptop pulled out, and from what they could see, he was selling some shares over the internet. 

"Y'know what we should do," Shun'u said, slowly, "we should blow his cover. We should tell Mum an' Hikari to meet him here." He slammed his fist against the railing. "The bastard deserves it." 

Yume obviously heard this, and he looked in their direction. They ducked out of sight. 

"Idiot!" muttered Kouji, slapping Shun'u's leg. "But I think ya've got the right idea. Let's go." They walked back into the hall and stopped. 

"How'm I gonna do this, Shun-chan? I can' do his voice, it's too deep!" 

They looked at each other and groaned. 

"Hey, wait! Let's leave a letter or somethin'!" Shun'u said, suddenly. 

"You'd better write it, ya've got the best writing in the class," Kouji said. Shun'u nodded. 

"Ya wait here, watch him, 'kay? I'll go write the notes, get 'em to meet him here at lunch time. Might be a while, will hafta drop it into Mum's work," Shun'u said, "lucky Hikari-chan doesn' work, huh?" 

He wrote down the room number and ran to the lift and headed down to the ground floor. He paused at the lobby and asked the woman at the desk for a pen and some paper. He carefully printed out two identical notes. 

_Dearest [name]_   
_Sorry to give you such short notice, but can you meet me at 12:30pm... _Shun'u looked at the address and quickly scribbled it down.   
_I've got something very important to discuss with you._

Shun'u signed it with a flourish and 'borrowed' some envelopes from the lobby, printing the names on carefully. He ran to Hikari's apartment first, and shoved it in through the mail-slot, then sighed, waiting for the bus. Knowing it would be a while, he ducked into an alley and changed out of his school uniform, not out of wanting to look normal but because the itchy material was giving him scratching fits. By the time he had finished repacking his bag, the bus was there, and he hopped on, pulling out his multi-pass. The other passengers gave him a questioning look, and he tried his best not to look nervous. 

He soon arrived at the noodle-bar where his mother worked and gave the letter to the manager, before heading back, just in time to catch the bus back in the other direction. It was the same driver, and he was openly staring at Shun'u in his rear-view mirror during red lights. Shun'u was relieved to get off, and he ran back to Kouji. 

"Did you do it?" Kouji asked, bored. He'd been waiting for half an hour and was realising that there was only so much fun you could get out of spying on the most boring man on the planet. 

"Yeah," Shun'u replied, "they'll be coming at 12:30." 

"Twelve thirty?! Shun-chan, it's eight-thirty now! We can' wait four hours!" 

"We'll hafta, Mum can' come any earlier. She knocks off early today, but not _that_ early!" 

They both groaned, realising they were in for hours of boredom. 

********* 

A few hours later, they were still waiting in the fire escape. It was then the trouble started. Yume packed up his laptop and left. 

"What're we gonna do now?" Shun'u asked, desperately. He then stiffened. "I can see Mum coming!" 

"Unlock the door, at least they can meet up. We'll tell 'em ourselves," Kouji said, quickly. He pushed the half-open window (Yume must have figured people usually didn't try to rob people through the window on the eleventh floor) open fully and ran across the floor, unlocking the door. He quickly jumped out again. 

"She's inside. Hikari's coming too, she's over there," Shun'u pointed. 

_(background music:Heart ni KIRAboshi Sakashitare!! /Make Twinkling Stars Bloom in Your Heart!!)_

The door handle rattled and Sorcha walked into the room. 

"Hello? Yume?" she called. 

She turned around as Hikari entered the room, carrying Fuyu. 

"Sorcha?" she asked, confused. "Where's Hiro? He said he was meeting me." 

Shun'u craned his head to see better, but Kouji tugged on his sleeve. 

"What?" Shun'u asked, distracted. 

"It's Uncle! He's coming back! With another woman!" 

"Shit!" Shun'u said, in horror. They watched helplessly as he entered the building. 

_In an unending,_   
_brawling battle,_   
_bleed valor!_   
_Rekka Shin'en_   
_Help the weak until you gain a victory for peace._

"Yume said he was meeting me here!" Sorcha said, confused. "What's going on?" 

"We've been had," Hikari said, angrily. Fuyu started to whimper and she comforted him into silence. 

"It's freezing in here, I'll close the window," Sorcha said, doing just that. She didn't notice Shun'u and Kouji, who ducked out of sight, panicking. 

She turned around and said, 

"Well, we'd better find out what's going on." 

At that moment, Yume walked through the door, his arms around a petite woman, who was laughing. 

_In a brawling battle,_   
_let the sparks fly!_   
_Rekka Shin'en_   
_Flowers and storms and walls_   
_-overcome them._

He stopped dead and stared at them both in pure astonishment. 

"Who are they?" asked the woman, in surprise. 

At the same time, Sorcha snapped, "What in the hell is going on, Yume?!" 

"Yume?" Hikari asked, confused. "It's Hiro..." She trailed off, horrified. 

Yume looked at them both, an arrogant expression on his face. 

"Very good, you figured it out. About time, too," he said, coldly.   


_With one incantation,_   
_any darkness is destroyed ha ha_   
_Hope is always power._   
_Launch the flowers of light._

"You... you bastard!" Hikari bellowed. Tears ran down her face, as she sobbed, "And after we had Fuyu... and you got Sorcha pregnant too..." 

"I wasn't aware of that, she didn't tell me," Yume said, uncaringly. 

"She told me this morning..." Hikari said, trailing off. 

"Is this true?" the woman asked Yume, furiously. Her eyes were bright with tears. 

"Oh god... you too..." Sorcha said, suddenly understanding this. The woman beame hysterical. 

"This isn't happening!" she screamed, and ran out the door, wailing.   


_Can't get really strong_   
_by always winning._   
_Inside of pain, there blooms_   
_a seed called courage._

"I must say, you're both idiots for not figuring it out sooner," Yume said, examining his fingernails, "it wasn't half-obvious." 

"How could you, you bastard?!" Hikari shouted. All this time, Sorcha was quiet and still, in deep shock. 

"Very easily," Yume said, smirking. 

"Why?! Why?! Why?!" wailed Hikari. 

"Because," was the answer. Hikari leaned over and slapped him with all her might, a blow which sent him staggering backwards.   


_As much as this world is overrun with sorrow,_   
_I won't abandon my tears, I won't overlook them._   
_I'll flame the really unbeatable enemies._   
_Make a twinkling star bloom in your heart!!_

"You broke my best friend's heart and lied to this other woman for no reason?!" she roared. Fuyu burst into tears and Yume didn't even look at him. 

"Shut that brat up!" he ordered, calmly. 

"That 'brat' is your son, Hiro, if that's even your name!" 

"Haruka Yume," Sorcha said, quietly, speaking in a dull, emotionless voice, "means distant dream." 

Fuyu's crying became louder, and in a fit of anger, Yume slapped him. 

"Shut up, you little shit!" he roared. 

Fuyu flew backwards, and landed with a thump. His crying turned to hysterical screams. 

Kouji couldn't take it anymore. He slammed him fists on the glass. 

"I'm comin' for ya, you bastard! Leave otouto alone!" he shouted.   


_In an unending,_   
_brawling battle,_   
_bleed valor!_   
_Rekka Shin'en_   
_Help the weak until you gain a victory for peace._

He raced down the stairs, Shun'u speeding after him, and they both crashed through the fire exit, which opened to the level below Yume's apartment. 

"You fucking..." Hikari screamed, cradling Fuyu in his arms. Yume was full of shock. 

"Fuyu..." he whispered, fear and worry in his eyes. He moved towards the small boy, to comfort or cradle him, but Sorcha beared her teeth at him. 

"Don't touch him! You have no right! No right!" she shouted, and turned on him, beating her fists at him, again and again. 

He snapped.   


_In a brawling battle,_   
_let the sparks fly!_   
_Rekka Shin'en_   
_Flowers and storms and walls-_   
_overcome them._   
_Try again._

He raised his hand and bashed her hard on the head. She screamed once, then fell and stayed down, sobbing. 

"You bastard! Hitting a pregnant woman!" Hikari screamed, but she was too shocked to move. 

On the stairs, Shun'u heard his mother cry and screamed himself. 

"Mum! I'm coming!" 

He ran to the door, but Yume, one step ahead, stepped towards it and locked it. 

"Try again," he whispered. 

_[Instrumental]_

"God, why isn' anyone comin'?! Can' they hear?!" Shun'u screamed. 

"They'd all be at work..." said Kouji, quietly, full of fear. His face was pale, deathly pale. 

"Let me in! Let me in!" Shun'u roared. He slammed against the door, again and again. His face was fierce with an anger Kouji had never seen before. Suddenly his eyes turned red, glowing, and Kouji stepped back in fear. 

"What's going on?!" he whispered. 

Shun'u's arm was glowing as red as his eyes, and he paid Kouji no attention, his eyes fixed on the door.   


_With a single kick, I can knock down_   
_even the guys looking to control others._

"Ya think you're safe, locked in there, doncha?" Shun'u asked, with a cold smile on his face. "You think you're safe." 

_People's hearts are free,_   
_flapping unseen wings._

"Don't you dare touch them!" Sorcha roared. "Leave them alone!" 

"I have every intention to," Yume said, "or why else would I lock them out?" 

_A dark power is born_   
_from the grief of lost love,_   
_so any kind of love_   
_should not be wasted._

He paced the room, confidently, looking at the two women on the floor. 

"Now here is what I propose we do," he said, calmly, "I'll keep Fuyu, Kouji and the baby once it is born, and I'll never bother you again. I'll pay for Sorcha to raise Shun'u and I'll even pay for both of your rents for the rest of your life, so long as you keep away." 

"Never!" screamed Hikari, in rage. Sorcha was curled in a ball, sobbing, her arms protectively over her belly, and she looked at Yume with the fear of a trapped animal. Hikari, on the other hand, was enraged. She let go of Fuyu, who crawled towards Sorcha in fear, and stood up to face Yume. "You're never having our children! Fuyu is mine too, and so is Sorcha's baby! As for Kouji, he's not even your child!" 

Yume's eyes glittered. "But he's not yours either," he said, smoothly.   


_In the struggle to find paradise in this world,_   
_even the effort is awesome, not weak._   
_It's the most fun, it's a blast._   
_Make a twinkling star bloom in your heart!!_

"Shun'u!" cried Kouji, in fear at his friend's transformation. His eyes were wild, furious. He looked at his arms and smiled. And he grinned, his fangs bared. 

Then, with no apparent effort at all, he kicked the door and it shattered. 

Yume spun around with surprise, to find Shun'u there. 

"Leave them alone!" roared Shun'u. His heart was beating wildly, not with fear, but with a cold rage. But there was more, a kind of excitement, which scared him even more than the man in front of him. As if he could do anything, had the power to destroy the scum who hurt his mother. As if he were a god. 

_In an unending,_   
_brawling battle,_   
_bleed valor!_   
_Rekka Shin'en_   
_Brandish justice on friend and foe._

He charged towards Yume, teeth bared, and tackled him. Yume fell over out of sheer surprise, to find Shun'u already pouncing on top of him. 

Kouji watched in shock from the door. 

_He fights like a wolf_ he thought, in amazement. 

But even the strength Shun'u had somehow gained was not enough. He was still a short, slightly build, eleven year old boy, no match for an adult. Yume threw him aside like a ragdoll, and Shun'u landed heavily against a wall. As he slumped to the floor, he could dimly hear the sound of something breaking in the background.   


_In a brawling battle,_   
_let the sparks fly!_   
_Rekka Shin'en_   
_But when it comes to love, this is it._

_It wasn't enough_ Shun'u though, despairingly, _why aren't I strong enough?_

He struggled to pull air back into his lungs, but felt too winded to move. Yume loomed above him, and overlaying his image, that of another man, a red-haired man, grinning wickedly. 

_Why can't I be him? Why can't I be strong enough?_ he thought, dimly.   


_In an unending,_   
_brawling battle,_   
_bleed valor!_   
_Rekka Shin'en_   
_Help the weak until you gain a victory for peace._

"Now, brat, you-" Yume started, but he couldn't finish, as Kouji leapt onto his legs, screaming, 

"Leave them alone! Shun'u, Sora, Fuyu, Okaa! Leave them all alone!" 

Yume fought him off easily, but it was enough time. 

Shun'u's vision cleared and he felt himself fill with purpose and the energy to get up again. He reached for his backpack, which he had dropped near the door, and rummaged inside it.   


_In a brawling battle,_   
_let the sparks fly!_   
_Rekka Shin'en_   
_Flowers and storms and walls-_   
_overcome them._   
_Fly again._

Yume felt a slight prick in his back and froze. 

He turned around slowly to find a knife held to his throat and the coldest pair of eyes he had ever seen in his life. 

"Now, I've got a proposal for you. How about you go away an' never, ever come near us again. Ever," Shun'u said. "Now get the fuck out of here, you piece of shit, before I kill you." 

Yume turned pale and slowly backed out of the room. 

"I'm leaving," he said. And did. 

Shun'u watched him go, then turned to the others. 

"Are you okay..." he started. Then collapsed. 

"Call the ambulance, Kouji," Hikari said, shaking. Sorcha was still in a sobbing heap on the floor, in no fit state to move. Hikari bent over Shun'u and pressed her cool hand to his forehead. She then looked up to Kouji, tears in her eyes. 

"You called me Okaa," she said, her tears now being of love. But Kouji had already left. 

"You'll be alright..." Shun'u heard, through a mist, before drifting away.   


******** 

_(background music: Bastard Son, by George)_

_Urban enzyme digest slowly_   
_eating crust and crouton wholly_   


Kouji walked out of the shabby apartment that he now shared with Sorcha, Fuyu and Hikari. And would share with Shun'u, once he was out of hospital. The internal bleeding had left him very weak, and they still had him on dialysis, although less frequently now. 

_Cut up news with froth and frolic_   
_hero doomed and alcoholic_

He walked the familiar path to school, feeling alone with Shun'u. The other kids had been avoiding him lately, or worse, approached him and timidly asked for the truth behind the many rumours they heard. 

_not a picture prized or pretty_   
_burning engines in the city_

Today, however, there were no other kids on that path. Instead, Kouji saw the last person he'd possibly want to see. Yume, Hiro, or, as his real name had been revealed to be, Shimo. 

_not a word now could be tainted_   
_when ivory teeth come golden plated_

He stretched out on the path in front of Kouji. Kouji froze, then tried to keep walking, hoping like crazy that Shimo would leave him alone. 

_running frowning waving madly_   
_came from nothing returning gladly_   
_he said strip, strip_

Shimo watched him go, coldly, then said after him, 

"I heard you're going to sue me." 

_shout it out_   
_you've done me over, now let me out_

Kouji stopped, and Shimo strolled over, arrogant as a cat. 

"Just to let you know, they have no hope. Hikari isn't even related to you. She may get Fuyu, but I'll always have you," Shimo whispered, a cruel smile on his face. Shimo placed a cruel hand on Kouji's face, in the mockery of a caress. 

_the bastard son_   
_bastard son_   
_bastard son of...._

"You're not related to me either," Kouji found the courage to say. Shimo's hand retreated and the cruel grin spread. 

"Aren't I?" he taunted. "Aren't I?" 

Kouji paled, as he realised that he'd been living this man's lies for his whole life, but this was the biggest one of all. About who he was. 

_the bastard son_   
_bastard son_   
_bastard son of you know who----_

"No! It's lie!" he said, frantically trying to smash down the thought. He slapped Shimo's hand away. 

_flashes lighten grime and gravy_   
_instant when it's bright and maybe_

Kouji ran the streets alone, trying to keep the tears which came no matter how much he fought them. He ran past the parked cars, the crowded bus stop, to his school. 

Then he kept going. 

_happiness will someday bite_   
_from eating starbeams in the night_

Past the train station, past the mall, past the furthest he'd ever been from home by himself. And he kept going. 

_crunch it chew it spit it out_   
_strip the flesh and suck it out_

"Why do you do this to us? Why can't you leave us alone?" he shouted. He ran, then stopped, as he reached the sea. 

_between the teeth of envy plain_   
_come bits of cosmos fire and rain_

He walked down the jetty and watched the crashing waves, smashing against the many boats, and shaking them up and down violently. 

_running frowning waving madly_   
_came from nothing returning gladly_   
_he said strip, strip,_

But not matter how far he ran, the image of Shimo, his father, wouldn't leave him alone. He flew back into Kouji's mind, and Kouji screamed. 

_shout it out_   
_you've done me over, now let me out_

"Leave me alone!" he screamed. The people nearby all stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him. He collapsed to his knees. 

_the bastard son_   
_bastard son_   
_bastard son of...._

The words echoed through his head. "I am his son," he whispered, the fact paining him. 

_the bastard son_   
_bastard son_   
_bastard son of you know who---_

He unsteadily got to his feet and looked down off the jetty, to the waves, far below him. And he leapt. 

_Will you ever know how it feels_   
_no mother or father to depend upon?_

"I'm sorry, Shun-chan," he whispered, as he fell. 

_will you ever know how it feels_   
_to be alone in this world?_   
_All alone-----_

"I love you, Shun-chan, my aniki," he thought, with the last of his consciousness, before the waves swallowed him up...   
  


**Skipsida's Ravings:**

Can I leave you with a cliffhanger? Oh yes, I can! Actually, I have to, I've been writing this all in the one day, continuously for about four or five hours. It is now 10:52 pm, and I really need to upload this to get some sleep. I have to warn you, the cliffhanger will be a long one, as I probably won't have a chance to update until after the exams are over - so that'd be a month or few. 

But just let me remind you that Kouji is alive in "What if", as you'd know if you've read it, so don't worry! ^____^ Then again, he could be a zombie! ^__^ V   


**What about... the parody?**

The cast: *sits in a row of chairs, much like Jerry Springer or any other crappy talk show*   
Skipsida: So, I understand you've had some relationship troubles?   
Yume: I'm innocent! How was I supposed to know?   
Hikari: *snorts* Pu-lease! I can understand Sorcha not recognising you, you've lost weight and gained a few years since the last time you saw her, but you _knew_ that I was friends with the only natural red-head in this area!   
Yume: *lamely* I thought she was a commuter.   
Sorcha: *rocks back and forward, traumatised* Why am I cursed, Suzaku? Why? WHY THIS CURSE WITH MEN?!   
Shun'u: *runs in* Speed power! And super strength! *runs out again*   
Kouji: *bursts into tears* He's scary! *sits down and cries*   
Skipsida: *hugs the kawaii little-kid Kouji* There there... *looks up at the crowd again, just as Shun'u runs back in, character glowing* So young Tasuki has some semblance of his powers back, brought on through rage and fear.   
Shun'u: *poses dramatically and reveals his character* Who needs _Red Bull_? Suzuku gives me wings *jumps off stage and crashes to the floor. He lies there dazed*   
Skipsida: *amused* What with having the character "wing", one wonders why Suzaku didn't give him the power to levitate. *shakes head* Of course, there is also the matter of his Sailor Moon obsession.   
Shun'u: *just recovering, stands up, frantical look of denial on his face*   
Skipsida: Yeah, he's a real _fan_ boy! *people groan* Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night. *quickly runs off stage to avoid being pelted with vegetables*   
Hikari: What the hell was this parody about?   
Sorcha: *surprised* This was a parody? 


	6. Chapter 4 Phantom Wolf

**Disclaimer:** *sings* All I want for Xmas is Fushigi Yuugi...

**Finally! An update!** Celebrate, people! Exams are over, it's now the summer holidays! Or, for me it is at least! Sooo, I thought I'd better get updating. It's been agony to _not_ update, actually. Why? Well, I've had the first few scenes of this chapter in my head for over a month now, if I could have, I would have written it as soon as finishing the last chapter. Unfortunately, that was impossible. *sighs* I'll try to update as much as possible in this holidays, but due to the fact that my folks are getting divorsed and as a result, I'm moving house, that might not be very often. I'm already dedicating all my spare time to writing as it is. How cool is this? My novel is now 100 typed up pages long!!! And that's 11 chapters! Happy! Still got a lot to go. I've planned out the story so I know roughly what goes in each chapter, but the chapters range in length, from 7 pages to 11+. My novel has been occupying all of my time, I guess, but never fear! I still won't neglect this! Or the other zillion and one fanfic ideas buzzing through my head. ^__^ V 

A lot of you readers are violent, you know? I've had people requesting that Shun'u kill Shimo/Yume/Hiro. Hmmm, much as it is tempting to have Shun'u slowly torture Shimo to death, feeding the bastard his own liver, and the likes, remember, this is "What about" here. No happy ending is guaranteed... but then again...

And I'd better warn you. This chapter is the one where the swearing, violence and all that other stuff crops up. Sex? Well, I don't write in scenes like that, but there are references to *cough* copulation. Sorry, it was necessary to the story.

Oh, by the way, if you've got the music _Do=Be's ga Yatte Kuru/The Do=Be's Come, _ _Deep_ by Nine Inch Nails and _Beautiful Day_ by U2, get your CD/MP3/whatever ready. They are used in this chapter for BGM at some points.

**Chapter 4 - Phantom Wolf**

_Where am I? What's going on?_

_Darkness. Blackness. Kouji shivered._

_Hello? he called again._

_Yo, a voice replied, far away, but growing nearer. Kouji took a look at the man as he appeared. Red hair, a lazy grin. He looked like Shun'u, except different. He had an air of confidence and power that Shun'u never had._

_Who are you? Where are we? Kouji asked, knowing he should be panicking, but somehow, all he felt was a cold fear._

_Cool it, man, we're jus' in th' void, the man replied, amused. An' I'm Genrou._

_What's the void? Kouji asked, looking around at the black emptiness around them._

_We go here when we pass out. When ya wake up, it seems like a dream'n all, but ya know it isn' when y'r here. Hell creepy place, full of people y' haven' seen for years, some y'd swear were dead'n all, but they ain't here. Time doesn' exist in this place, y'see? You don' always see the same people twice. Can' choose when ya go either, ya either wake up or die. Either way, you don' stay here forever, Genrou said, sprawled out and floating lazily._

_Kouji heard a familiar voice and turned around. Kouji? Kouji! What're ya doing here? _

_Shun'u! You're here! he said, in relief, seeing it was Shun'u, and they leapt out and hugged each other. This place is so creepy._

_Y' get used to it. I'm here a helluva lot when I drink_, _Genrou said. He fixed an eye on Shun'u, hesitated, then shrugged. He then looked at Kouji. Your name Kouji? Yeah, I c'n see, y'look a lot like him. You mus' be him as a kid._

_Huh? Kouji asked, confused._

_Kouji, he's me best mate. He'll wake me up any minute soon, cos I'm actually blind drunk, Genrou said, proudly, most sake I ever drunk in my life. Good shit too._

_How do you know he'll wake you up? Shun'u asked, skeptically._

_You know Kouji, the sorta guy who'd give you water when y' have a hangover, and give you sake when ya don't, retorted Genrou, with a shrug, of course he'll wake me up! Woncha? He directed his last comment to Kouji._

_Kouji shrugged. I don' even know you. But I guess I would, if we're best mates._

_See? Genrou aimed his comment at Shun'u. He's the best._

_Yeah, he saved me, called the doctors an' all, Shun'u agreed._

_Is that why y'r here? Genrou asked._

_Yeah, I beat up my Dad. He put me in hospital though, Shun'u said, allowing a little pride to slip into his voice._

_Yeah? Goodonya, mate! The fucker deserved it, I bet! Genrou crowed. I've been 'ere before fer stuff like that a lot. I'm always beatin' up the bad guys an' all. Kouji an' me, we always save the day._

_You do? Shun'u asked._

_Genrou grinned. Fuck, yeah! Would I lie? Hey, lil' Kouji, you grow strong, become my mate, eh? An' look after yerself. An' mebbe, mebbe you can change the future. An' you, Shun'u... He looked at Shun'u, carefully. He shook his head and sighed. Ya gotta be strong too. You can change things in the future. Kouji has a mate called Shun'u. You gotta look after Rei..._

_He trailed off as he started to fade._

_See? he addressed the others. That'd be Kouji wakin' me up. Any secon' an..._

_He vanished, leaving Shun'u and Kouji on their own._

_He is so cool! Shun'u said, enthusiastically. I wanna be like him. I've talked to him before, he's a bandit, y'know?_

_Yeah, Kouji said, faintly. He was finding it hard to think, feeling insubstantial as a breath of smoke._

_Why're you here? Shun'u asked Kouji. I've been 'ere so long, but never seen anyone I know._

_I can't remember, Kouji said, trying to think. Seems like a dream... waves... His eyes opened wide. Shun'u, I think I'm dyin'..._

_What?! Shun'u gasped._

_I... jumped off the jetty, I'm drownin' Kouji whispered._

_Kouji! We've gotta save ya! Shun'u shouted, panicking._

_Let me die, pleaded Kouji._

_No! screamed Shun'u. We either go together or not at all! An' I don' wanna die, so you're not gonna either!_

_What're ya gonna do? Kouji asked, miserably._

_Wake up, that's what! Shun'u said._

_How? Kouji challenged._

_Watch me! Shun'u said, stubbornly. He concentrated, and slowly began to fade. Very slowly. He had to struggle every second, fighting the drugs, the anaestatics which kept him sleeping. Little by little, he became transparent, then finally, he disappeared completely, leaving Kouji on his own. _

_*********_

Sorcha sat by Shun'u's bed, silent. The doctors had him anaestatised again, the damage to his organs had been worse than previously thought. They still hadn't told Kouji, as they were unsure how he'd take the news.

All at once, Shun'u began to stir and his eyes snapped open.

"Shun-chan!" Sorcha gasped.

"Mum. It's Kouji. Y' need to find him, he's dying. Call an ambulance, he's near the jetty," Shun'u said. He sank back down, exhausted.

Sorcha regarded him, uneasily. Shun'u was on a lot of morphine, but his voice, it sounded so urgent.

Seeing his mother's face, Shun'u tried again. "Mum, it's urgent!" he wailed. "Ask the school! He didn't arrive!"

Hikari walked in the room, oblivious to their plight. "Sorcha, have you seen Kouji?" she asked. "He skipped school..." She saw Shun'u awake and trailed off.

"Shit..." Sorcha muttered, and ran out the room.

Hikari looked at Shun'u. "What was all that about?" she asked, worried.

Shun'u didn't answer. He was already falling asleep.

**********

Shun'u

I've been havin' the strangest dream. I dreamt that Kouji had been rushed in, an' put in the bed next to me. I dreamed that Mum and Hikari-chan were crying, thinkin' they were gonna lose both of us. But it isn't a dream, is it?

I open my eyes and see Kouji, asleep in the bed next to me. He isn' on an oxygen mask or anythin'. I dreamt he was. Mebbe he's better now.

He opens his eyes and I smile shakily at him.

"Hey," I say, quietly.

"Hey," he replies, lookin' scared. "Where am I?"

"In hospital, ya nong. Don' ya ever try t' kill yerself again, y'hear me?" I order. "Bad enough Shimo nearly did."

"Yeah." Kouji stays silent, after that. 

Nurse Tanuki comes in, dressed in a really blindin' shade of lime, as usual.

"You have a lot to thank this young man for," she lectures Kouji, "he saved you, you know? He woke up and told his mother where to find you. You had already been fished out of the water by fishermen, but no one had thought to ring an ambulance. You could have died!"

Kouji nods, and blinks once. He seems quiet, distant.

"Hey, forget it, man," I say. "You're m'best mate. Of course you couldn' die!" This seems to spark a memory for him, the same one as me.

"Did you dream that too?" Kouji asked. 

I nodded. "Yeah." We both smile. "But I can hardly remember it."

"Me neither."

We lie there, not needin' to feel the silence with any crappy words or nuthin'. We don' need to.

**********

"Sora-chan," Kouji called.

"Wait on, Kouji-chan, I'm getting dressed. Court case today, remember?" Sorcha replied, through the bedroom door. "Don't worry, we'll win this, then we'll be okay. We can live somewhere better..."

"Sora-chan! It's important! It's Shimo! He's dead!"

"What?!" Sorcha opened the door, in shock. One look at his face confirmed what he had said. "Shit..."

"He killed himself, the bastard!" Hikari sobbed, still holding the phone. "Oh Sorcha! Now what are we going to do?"

Sorcha's heart sank as she realised Shimo had finally had the last laugh. As the tears of despair started, she felt all their dreams of normality shatter completely.

**********

Sorcha skim-read the will, feeling more and more despairing at each word.

"He left it all to his wife. That woman we saw, he married her a few days ago, and left it all to her. All of it. Except a set sum of money to Fuyu, for when he turns eighteen." Her sob turned slightly hysterical. "He's richer than both of us put together but he can't even touch the money." Her voice shook, as she knew how much in debt she and Hikari were, due to the hospital fees. She dropped her copy of the will, and Hikari picked it up, forcing herself to finish reading it.

"Listen to this," she said, quietly, her voice full of a silent sorrow and rage. "'And to my son, Kouji, I leave the truth: his birth certificate. Just in case he didn't believe me the last time I saw him.'" She opened the envelope and read the name. "He really was Kouji's father. I thought he was being malicious... Of course he'll live with us, but Sorcha, let's not tell anyone about Fuyu's money. You know why." Her voice was pained.

Sorcha nodded. "We can't let Shimo's spite beat us. Let's hide the will and Kouji's birth certificate. He already knows, he hates himself for it. And Fuyu can't grow up with the guilt of knowing he can't save us, or worse, grow up feeling arrogant. We'll hide this all until the right time."

**********

"Shun'u's grades have fallen," Sorcha sighed, "I'm worried about him."

"That's to be expected," soothed Hikari, "they're both at new schools, and missed so much work after being in hospital, after the court case and after Shimo's death. He always got A's before, he'll pick right up again."

"I don't know, Hikari-chan. I'm worried about him..."

*********

"Gaijin!"

"Gaijin!"

"Fuck off! Leave me alone!"

********

"And I'm worried about how we're going to live. Three children... and when the baby is born, four. Babies are so expensive. But I can't abort it... you know that..."

"I'm not asking you to," Hikari said, comforting her friend. "Once the baby is born, we'll be better off, you'll see. You'll get a great job and we'll all be happy. Only a few weeks to go."

"But until then..."

********

"Aniki?" Fuyu asked, pulling on Kouji's shorts. He had only started school a few days ago, and had quickly made friends. "I'm hungry, aniki. C'n I have some money t' buy some more lunch?"

"Feh. Don' bother askin' him, he don' have any money," someone called. Kouji turned crimson with anger and embarrassment. He was about to say something, but Shun'u stepped in.

"Shuddup, y' arsehole! This school is shit, and so're you! It's not as if ya're much better!" he shouted.

"Then go back to ya hell posh school! We don' wancha here!"

********

"And the school called yesterday. Shun'u was in another fight."

"Shhh," Hikari ordered, "enough. They'll hear you."

She reached over and turned out the touchlamp between her bed and Sorcha's, then curled over and fell asleep instantly. Sorcha sighed, a tear trickling down her face.

"You'll work yourself to death," she whispered, to Hikari's sleeping form. Hikari had been working double-shifts lately, but still they had a negative income. "I'm sorry I'm so useless..."

She stopped as she heard a noise, and Fuyu walked into the room.

"She's asleep, Fuyu," she whispered, "don't wake her."

"I had a bad dream," Fuyu whispered back, "can I come in bed with you, Sora-chan?"

She leaned over and picked him up, surprised at how he'd grown bigger. Or maybe she was weaker, with her huge stomach. Fuyu placed his hands on her belly.

"When will the baby be born, Sora-chan? Soon?" he asked.

"Soon, soon," Sorcha replied, quietly, gesturing for him to be quiet.

"I can feel it moving," he whispered. When he finally fell asleep, it was with one hand over the baby's foot, and Sorcha's arms around him.

*********

Shun'u

Hospital again. I can' seem t' escape. But this time, it's cos of Mum. The baby was born yesterday an' we've come t' visit. I look around fer the nurse I know but Tanuki-san isn' there. They said she's been transferred to Tokyo. Another nurse comes in, and leads us into Mum's room.

Mum is lyin' on her bed, lookin' tired but she has a smile on her face. She shows me the baby. A sister, she says. An' I can name her. I wanna say "Haru!" [spring] and suggest that Kouji an' me change our names to Natsu [summer] an' Aki [autumn], to fit in with Fuyu, but somethin' stops me. I see her lil face an' know that Haru jus' isn' right. What's a good name? Rei. Rei...ka. Reika.

"Let's call her Reika," I say. Kouji shoots me a startled glance, then we all smile.

"Reika it is."

*********

Kouji

Why is it that when everything starts t' look up, it all goes crashin' down? Our move t' Tokyo, when we were thirteen, was s'posed ta make everythin' so much better. Okaa-chan was s'posed to get a great job there'n so was Sora-chan. Reika was old enough ta be left at daycare. We packed up everythin', sold a lot of our stuff ta afford the move an' when we finally got there, the promised job was given t' someone needin' a promotion in the company, an' we were stranded in Tokyo. No job for Okaa or Sora-chan, nothin'. An' we couldn't even afford ta go home. Okaa eventually found a job, but it weren' a real good one. All money went towards food an' payin' for school. An' Reika was th' most expensive one of all. Sora-chan eventually had t' leave her at daycare but her job earnt barely enough t' pay for it. Shun-chan an' I knew all of this was happenin' but what could we do? Nuthin'. Absolutely nuthin'. But we tried. We got used to feelin' hungry, eatin' only a little cos then if there was extra food an' we refused it, Sora-chan and Okaa-chan ate it. They needed it more'n us, they worked all day an' were always tired.

But at th' moment, it's the least of our worries. It's the firs' day of school...

*********

"Hey, newboy. What's your name?"

"Me? 'm Kouji."

"What about your mate? He speak Japanese?"

"Prob'ly better'n you!"

"Heh. Whaddya know, the gaijin speaks Japanese. What's yer name, gaijin?"

"I'm not a gaijin! I was born 'ere! 'm Shun'u."

"Shun'u? As if! Red hair? You're a gaijin. So what's your real name?"

"I said it wuz Shun'u! What's ya problem?"

"C'mon, gaijin, we'll make it easy for you and your mate, seeing as you don't even speak _real_ Japanese. You've got red hair. You've got to be Irish. So don't lie, what's your real name? We won't tease you for it."

They moved closer towards Shun'u and Shun'u and Kouji instinctively moved closer together.

"I said m'name is Shun'u!"

"Let's guess his real name."

Hands reach towards Shun'u's hair and pull it painfully.

"Is it Seamus?"

Shake head.

"Dougal?"

Shake head.

"Or Patrick. Yes, Patrick for the little Irish boy."

That did it. Shun'u lost his temper. He pulled his fist back and punched the ringleader right in his smug face. The others closed in and he shoved them aside, his rage giving him strength. Kouji joined in and together, they moved in a blur, back to back, fighting off their peers.

Shun'u stopped, panting, as the last one stepped back.

"Hear this, ya scum! So my name ain't Shun'u. So what? Ya really wanna hear my name? It's Genrou. Phantom wolf. An' doncha forget it!"

With that, he stormed off and Kouji hurried after him, until they fell into pace together.

"Genrou? Where'd ya pull that from?" Kouji asked.

Shun'u shrugged. "Buggered if I know. It jus' seemed right. Guess I'm Genrou now, or at least to them."

************

"A fight on your first day of school? Shun!"

"Mum! They called me a gaijin!"

Sorcha's lips tightened. "Then I suppose you gave them what they deserved."

And that was the last said about it. 

***********

Sorcha sat down, exhausted. Hikari noticed, finished serving her customers then walked over to her.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned. 

"Tired. Not used to working, I suppose. I'll just have to get fit again," Sorcha replied, tiredly.

Hikari looked at her doubtfully, but said nothing. Sorcha wouldn't admit defeat until she passed out. It was how she'd coped with looking after Shun'u all those years ago, and she didn't seem likely to change. Instead of scolding her friend, Hikari gave her a concerned smile then, noticing someone at the counter, headed at the till and gave the customary, "Hi, may I help you?"

**************

Genrou

I don' ever bring lunch to school. Less food, cheaper. I eat at home, it keeps me goin'. Kouji does the same. We can handle it. But Fuyu is th' worry. Reika always eats okay but even though we all try, Fuyu jus' doesn' get enough but he tries t' eat less like us. Kouji an' I can take it, altho Kouji is now skin an' bones, but Fuyu needs ta eat. That's why we're we're here at the moment.

We're in the locker-rooms. It's lesson at th' momen' an' Kouji an' I said we were goin' to the toilet. What we're really doin' is searchin' through bags for a little food we can pinch. Not too much, or they'd notice, jus' a little. They've always got lots ta eat, they don' hafta go hungry. Why should we? They can go hungry for a day, it'd serve 'em right.

"What are you doing?" comes the voice. The lunch bell has rung an' people are comin' out. Oh crap. We were caught red-handed. "Gimme my lunch back, gaijin!"

He looks angry, an' I can jus' tell that he's about ta call th' teacher. I got in fights every day for th' firs' week of school but noone's stupid enough ta take on Kouji'n I now. Half the time the teachers don' do nothin' either, cos most've 'em are women an' scared. I've heard 'em whisperin' about me an' Kouji, they reckon we're feral, freaky. Screw 'em. I've only gotta put up with 'em until the end of the year, then there's the exams ta get into junior high school. It's not as if we'll be goin' anywhere flash anyway. Why would we? We can' afford anythin' an' we sure as hell won' be gettin' no scholarships.

Jus' before he yells out, tho, someone else intervenes. "Why should 'e?"

That accen' is like from home. I look up at 'im an' see a taller, older guy peering in thru the fence.

"A...arashi..." the kid stammers.

Arashi don' look too impressed. "Good. So ya still remember me. What's th' problem?"

"He's pinching my lunch!" the kid squeaks. He looks terrified.

"Yo. Grommit. What's ya name?" Arashi asks. He looks as if he expects me to cower or somethin'. Fat chance of that. I don' cower to no one.

"Genrou," I reply, definately.

He lets out a slow whistle. "Ya're the one they're all talkin' about. The crazy kid who gets inta fights all th' time. The name's Arashi."

"Hey," I say, not that impressed. So he's big. So what. I bet I could take 'im on any day.

Kouji isn' lookin' too impressed about bein' ignored. "Whaddya want anyway?"

"Then you'd be Kouji?" Arashi asks.

"How did ya know?" Kouji asks, suspicious.

"You two are famous. But I figgered ya'd be Kouji cos Genrou has red hair," Arashi drawls, but he looks impressed all the same.

At that point, a teacher came over. "Aoi-san. What are you doing here?"

"Jus' passin' thru," Arashi replies, lazily.

The teacher is not impressed. "You are in high school now, so get away from the primary school or we'll have you removed."

"Yeah, yeah, keep ya shirt on, I'm goin'," Arashi replies. The teacher waits, impatiently and Arashi rolls his eyes. "See ya around Genrou, Kouji," he says, an' gives us a lazy wink as he heads off.

The teacher turns to the kid an' us. "Is there a problem here?"

"N...no," the kid stammers.

"Good," the teacher replies, and walks off.

The kids look on in awe. "Arashi talked to you?"

"Freaky, man! Let's leave them alone!" 

They all run off. Leavin' the lunch behind. Sweet! Kouji an' I go halves in the noodles, but give the rice to Fuyu. He eats it meekly. God knows what 'e's heard about us. But this time 'e's even quieter'n normal.

"Whassup, Fuyu?"

"The kids have been teasin' me about m' accen' an' they say all this stuff 'bout ya. Is it true?"

Fuyu looks up at us so trustin'ly an' I dunno how t' answer. Kouji does, tho.

"Depends what they've been sayin'. I reckon most've what they say is all rubbish anyway, they jus' hate us. But who's been pickin' on ya anyway?"

Fuyu points to a boy in the grade above him. He's laughin', surrounded by friends. Kouji lopes over to him an' there is instan' silence in the group. Kouji breaks it.

"Ya been pickin' on m' brother?"

"N...no," the kid manages to squeak. 

Kouji eyes 'im an' picks 'im up by the collar an' pulls 'im up to eyelevel. He looks at the kid straight in the eye an' says, "Good. Ya'd better not've been."

He walks back to us. Fuyu looks up at 'im in a mixture of admiration an' fear. "He's gonna get me now, aniki."

"If 'e does, call us an' we'll beat the shit outta him. I promise."

**********

Kouji

Th' next time we see Arashi is on the way home from school. He is in a large group an' they are all sprawled on a wall on the side of the street, talkin' an' laughin'. I eye Genrou an' we both move closer t' Fuyu an' speed up.

"Oi! What's ya rush?" Arashi calls to us. We stopped an' I could see that Genrou is clencin' his fists, gettin' ready for a fight.

"Ya go on ahead, Fuyu," he hisses to Fuyu. Fuyu nods an' beats it. He's got 'is own house-key, 'e can get 'ome easily. The others don' follow, which is lucky. Instead they look at us an' Arashi blows out smoke from a cigarette he has partially hidden in 'is hand.

"Ya wanna hang around with us?" he asks. 

Genrou an' I look at each other. We'd never even considered this before, but now it seems like we should, as if we really have a choice. But we don' really know what ta do. These are the firs' people who've acted friendly to us before in this place. But we c'n see now they're like us. The misfits, the people that the other kids are scared of. But they've banded t'gether an' now they aren' really misfits at all.

"Yeah, sure," a voice says. I realise it was me.

We climb up onto the fence next t' 'em an' for the firs' time since comin' t' Tokyo, we feel wanted.

**********

The group was a mixed bunch, as Genrou and Kouji soon found out, and of mixed ages. All of them were in high school, although in different ones, and Genrou and Kouji felt proud to be the only primary school kids.

There was Arashi, from the same district that they'd come from, who was the terror of students and teachers alike. He was the unvoted leader of the group, and also in the highest grade at high school. He was eagerly waiting until he reached the age when he was allowed to drop out of school and get a job.

Nami was the second in command. Not very bright, but pretty. She was failing school easily and was with them because no one else wanted her, for all her good looks.

Lanva was the second in command, a lech and smooth talker. He was smart but teachers hated him, perhaps because he seemed to know more than they did.

Yuki was a goth who had started in her grade halfway through her grade and who couldn't make her way into any of the popular groups. She seemed vaguely familiar to Genrou but he couldn't place where he knew her.

Yuuji was a creepy kid who resembled a rat in several ways. He was the sort of kid who would dob you into the teacher or hold your hands behind your back while Arashi screamed and spat in your face.

Chuuei and Shunkei were the flunkies. They stuck together and followed what the others said because they didn't want to be kicked out of the group. They were the yes-men. 

Genrou and Kouji... well, they found that they fitted in okay. Being with them earnt them respect from the other kids in their school, and Fuyu spent the rest of the year unbothered. In fact, no one even went near him, they were scared. He spent most of his time playing with the girls, who accepted him, or alone, reading in the library. Kouji was worried about him but was unsure what to do about it. He couldn't bring a child that young into their group, the others wouldn't take it. Instead, Fuyu played with his imaginary friends when the girls played dolls, and when they didn't, jumped rope with them.

The problems their children suffered at school were largely unnoticed by Hikari and Sorcha. It wasn't because they didn't care, but because they were never even told. Despite the constant fights Genrou and Kouji got into, they never complained. Not once. Although they suspected something was amiss, and questioned their respective kids, they were assured they could fend for themselves. Hikari desperately wanted to intervene, but Sorcha refused to. She remembered how her parents had constantly complained to the school whenever she had faced even the slightest taunt, and refused to cause embarrassment for Genrou. She agreed only to contact the school if a serious incident occured, or if Genrou asked her to.

Through it all, Genrou remained firmly attached to his mother. Her attitude meant that he never felt distanced from her, but instead, knew that she genuinely understood. It was because of this, he never told her of his problems, out of concern that she had enough stress to cope with.

And Sorcha did have a lot of stress. She found it easier to get jobs than Hikari, having worked recently, but since neither had no formal qualifications, well-paying jobs were hard to find. They were forced to work long, and often unusual hours in order to earn enough money to eat. There were times when their paychecks were late and they found they had nothing to eat. It was at those times when Hikari wordlessly pulled out her guitar and she and Kouji busked on the streets. Sorcha had no music to offer, and Genrou didn't have a musical bone in his body, so they could do nothing. Sorcha couldn't bring herself to beg, she had her dignity, but there were times when Genrou just wished she had the strength to stand up to her employers and get paid more regularly. She never did. She was afraid of getting fired.

Time passed by, Genrou and Kouji had their thirteenth birthdays within weeks of each other, without much celebrating. Sorcha felt as if their lives were destined to be mundane and full of work. With a twelve hour shift as a waitress, how could you blame her? Her feet ached, she as overworked. However, things began to improve...

***********

"Miss, why do you work here?"

"I have no choice."

"Why not work some place else?"

"How can I? I'm not qualified."

"I've got a job going for ya. I own a pub and we're in need of a barmaid."

"A barmaid? But I have children... I can't work there!"

"It was just an idea. Consider it."

"Would you have a job offer for my friend?"

"Hito Hikari-san? Yes, but it would be a cleaning job during the day."

"I don't know..."

"It was just an idea. Here is my number, contact me. You're pretty and interesting enough looking to earn a small fortune in tips, I can tell you!"

"I'll consider it."

*********

Sorcha brushed her long red hair that night and told Hikari everything.

"Sorcha! Of course you'll accept it! Right away!"

"Ssh," Sorcha whispered, gesturing towards the other room, where all the children slept. They slept in the kitchen/family/dining room, which was closer to the door, so they didn't disturb the children when leaving early for work. Reika often slept in that room. She was one and a half years old, no longer in a cot, but still liked being near her mother for comfort.

Hikari calmed down. "Sorcha, this is terrific. You'd get paid well and..."

"Hikari, I have my pride. I just can't do it. I can't. I really can't. What would people think?"

"What people?" Hikari pointed out. Sorcha paused. Hikari had a point. They had no friends in this place apart from the other waitresses, who were as desperate for work as they were.

"Please," Hikari pleaded, "swallow your pride. This job offer is for you, you must take it. If it helps, think of the children. We can get a real house, with real bedrooms. A place big enough for all of us."

Sorcha sighed, defeated. She knew they needed the money. "It'll be a night-shift."

"You'll get more sleep. The shift is shorter."

"I hate to be away at night."

"I'll be there. And you'll be there during the day."

"I'll disturb everyone by coming in late. I don't want to be away from the children."

"They'll understand."

Sorcha nodded, and swallowed her pride. For so long, she'd thought it was the last thing she had left. Despite their condition, she'd never lost it. Now even it had to go. She had no choice. They had to eat.

"I'll do it."

**********

Sorcha walked home, utterly exhausted but thrilled. She entered the house and put down all she was carrying. Hikari stirred and woke up, to find Sorcha beaming.

"My first pay-check!" she announced, proudly, and showed Hikari. Hikari whooped with excitement then frowned. "Shouldn't it be more than that?"

Sorcha sighed. "They decided to pay me in booze as well."

"You drunk your paycheck?" screeched Hikari, but still keeping her voice low so as not to wake up the others.

"No," Sorcha said, slowly, "it's here." She showed Hikari the huge package on the table.

"It's beer," Hikari stated.

"Well, I can see that," sighed Sorcha. "What do we do with it?"

"I know someone we could sell it to," Hikari said, slowly. A grin broke over her face. "This is excellent!" 

Sorcha looked at the clock. "Sorry I woke you up so early."

"Nah, I'd have to leave in a few hours anyway," Hikari assured her, "and this was welcome news." She sighed. "Please tell me the pub wasn't that messy last night. I'll have to clean it."

"It was fine," Sorcha laughed.

Hikari smiled. "Good."

She yawned and turned over, quickly falling asleep, and Sorcha collapsed onto the futon next to her, nearly squashing Reika, who was asleep there already. She kissed Reika on the forehead and she stirred in her sleep. Sorcha carried her back to her own futon then returned to her own. When she fell asleep, it was with a proud smile on her face. Thing were going to get better.

*********

"Hey, guess what?" Genrou called to Arashi, on the way to school.

"You've got false teeth?" Arashi teased, laughing.

"We're movin' house. We're gettin' a decen' place cos our mothers work at a pub," Kouji announced.

"At a pub? Wicked!" Lanva grinned. "Reckon we could get some free grog?"

"Prob'ly not," Genrou said, irritated, "an' sides, it wasn' that I was gonna tell ya anyway. We got inta ya high school, Arashi."

Arashi grinned. "We'd better warn th' teachers. They're gonna hafta run for cover now the wolves have headed our way."

Genrou grinned too, flashing the world his fangs in his happiness. "High school here we come..."

*********

The new house was bigger, with a small bedroom for Genrou, Kouji and Fuyu to share, a small bedroom for Sorcha, Hikari and Reika to share, a small family/dining room, tiny kitchen, tiny bathroom and tiny balcony. The whole place was small and rather run down, but the rent was fairly cheap. This was because the building wasn't earthquake proof and was a bit of a walk from train stations, bus stops and the subway, but mainly because the area was a bit rough.

But, it was the best they could find, and they simply put up with the freaky neighbours. However, Reika suffered a few nightmares after one of the neighbours found their spare key and let himself in, more than a little drunk, and passed out in their kitchen. After that, she screamed whenever anyone entered the room she was in. Kouji got into the habit of knocking and announcing his presence and Fuyu always called out "It's me!" before entering a room. Oddly enough, Genrou never had to. The mother, son and daughter seemed to share an almost telepathic bond, allowing them to know when was in danger or when one was near. Reika, when awake, always ran to the door seconds before Sorcha opened it, no matter what the time.

Sorcha soon found a few problems with her job, however. It seemed almost as if the happiness was not to last, when the pub owner went bankrupt, but she quickly found new jobs, both part-time, and generally their homelife was peaceful. Sorcha was thrilled that Genrou actually made it into a highschool, due to his poor grades, but he breezed the entrance exams, and Kouji, with his help, also managed to scrape through. If Hikari had known the real reason why their grades were bad, she would have been less than impressed, but until then, they all held the same air of excitement at the new start high school offered them.

*********

"Ya awake?" Kouji whispered to Genrou. 

"Mmph?" Genrou mumbled, more asleep than awake. He turned over. "Yeah?" he asked, his voice still thick with sleep. He looked at the clock. "Geeze, it's too early ta be awake," he complained.

"Couldn' sleep any longer," Kouji said. 

"Nervous?"

"Nervous? Why'd I be nervous?"

Genrou gave him a Look.

"Okay, jus' a little. You?"

"Nah. Excited. Think've it. We get a clean slate. They don' know us, we dunno them. They ain't gonna judge us or nothin'. They wouldn've heard've us or nothin'. We got nothin' t' worry 'bout, Kouji. We've got it made."

"Yeah. I guess so."

"An' sides, we're in this t'gether, right? So it won' be so bad."

"But..."

"Shuddup an' go back t' sleep."

Kouji meekly obeyed.

*********

Genrou

After all it'd been made out t' be, high school was nothin' big. In fact, it was borin'. But tech was cool. Better'n cool, in fact. It rocked. The tech teacher was an old guy, but real funny. He doesn' care that I'm gaijin, all 'e sees is the stuff I make. Jewellery, furniture, it's all easy. Kouji doesn' have it so easy. He was even afraid to go near th' electric saws! An' he's broken every machine in there at least once. But weirdly 'nuff, he's also fixed 'em all. The tech teacher doesn' know what t' make of him: a walkin' disaster or a portable fixin' machine? Cos he also fixes everyone elses stuff too, but can' make anythin' himself. Its like he can only modify what other people've worked on. Weird.

Of course, all the other classes sucked. And I mean sucked. I didn' do English, cos it's as borin' as hell t' have some teacher that doesn' even know how to speak properly t' try an' teach me, and 'sides, Kouji doesn't like it. I've mostly forgotten my English, but I know a lot more'n all the others who've studied it fer years. I jus' play stupid though, cos they expect me t' be good at it, to act _gaijin_. I'd never give 'em the satisfaction.

So yeah, everythin' is hard. Harder for Kouji'n me. I could do well if I wanted ta, be why bother when all the other kids would jus' think I'm a freak? Easier to fail an' spend lunch times with Arashi, smokin' behind th' toilets.

An' don' tease me, but listen to this. I got a girlfriend. Pretty lil thing too, called Doulin. She's so lil I feel like I'd crush her or somethin' just by breathin' on her. All girls are like that, weird and kinda freaky. But not Doulin. She's small but she's as tough as any boy, she plays basketball an' I even let her win. She'd probably beat me anyway, but that's not the point!

Anyway, I'll get Kouji to explain to ya exactly how it happened.

*********

Kouji

Okay, so ya wanna know about the whole Doulin saga. I'll tell ya. An' more 'sides, everythin' that happened _because_ of the whole Doulin thin'.

Genrou met Doulin on the firs' day of school. She was surrounded by a small crowd of people, but that wasn' what caught Genrou's eye. What caught it was that like 'im, she had interestin' hair. White, t' be exact. They saw each other in the crowd an' smiled. Both had people askin' 'bout their hair an' tryin' t' touch it, so they felt like they shared somethin', or, at least, that's how Genrou put it. I wouldn' know. People in love are weird. Anyway, b'fore long, they were sitting next t' each other in class an' everythin', an' even talkin' at lunch time. I felt all left out an' hung with Arashi, but it wasn' th' same. He's m'mate, an', if truth be tol', I was jealous. But, cos he was m'mate, I helped him. Y'see, his problem was that he didn' know how t' ask her out. So I did the obvious, I wen' an' told her that he liked her. I didn' wan' t', but then again, cos Gen was unhappy, so was I. They arranged t'meet in the bikeshed. I hid an' watched. It went somethin' like this:

Genrou: Hi.

Doulin: Hi. So are you going to ask me out or am I going to have to?

Genrou blushed. Yeah, he actually blushed. Unbelievable. I wish I'd had a camera or somethin'!

Genrou: Will ya go out wiv me?

Doulin: Yeah.

At that point, she leant forward and puckered her lips an' they kissed. I watched an' felt kinda sick. I was jealous, really, really jealous. At that momen', I would've happily wrung 'er neck, cos she'd stolen m'mate. What did I do? Absolutely bloody nothin'. What could I do?

So Genrou and Doulin became GenrouanDoulin an' wen' everywhere together. An' I mean everywhere. He missed my company an' we hung around t'gether again, but he always brought bloody Doulin with him. Even when we hung around with Arashi an' our mates after school. An' that's prob'ly where most've th' problems started.

The scene wen' something like this... 

Arashi: So you're Doulin?

Doulin: Yeah. (Looks at him straight in the eye)

Nami: Ooh, she's a pretty one, Genrou! 

Doulin: (blush)

Lanva: And I bet she fucks like a tiger. 

Doulin: (whacks him) Hentai!

Genrou: (angry at the others, who are all laughing) Hey guys, shut up! (puts an arm around Doulin. He blushes fiercely)

Yuuji: I know a place where you can get cheap condoms.

Genrou: (about to go completely aggro) You...!

Kouji: (steps forward and silences them all) Cool it, guys. Leave 'em alone. It's none've our business. 

Genrou: (shoots him a grateful look) Yeah.

Doulin: I should get going.

Genrou: Kouji'n me'll walk ya home.

Doulin: (shrugs. They walk off)

Genrou: Whassup? Y're very quiet.

Doulin: I don't like your friends.

Genrou: (uncomfortable) I can' jus' dump 'em. They're m'mates. We've been friends since before high school. They're all talk, not usually like that.

Kouji: ... (thinking the complete opposite)

Doulin: Yeah, whatever you reckon. (stops outside her house) Seeya Gen-chan. (leans over and kisses him. They kiss for a while. Kouji starts to look embarrassed and shuffles his feet. They finally break away and Doulin goes inside)

Genrou: Man, isn' she somethin'? (in a daze)

Kouji: Yeah. (they head home in silence) 

Genrou: Why're ya so quiet, man?

Kouji: Why d' ya always spend your time with her?

Genrou: (shrugs) She's m' girlfrien'. Y' do that.

Kouji: Have ya really done all that stuff th' others say ya do?

Genrou: Naw. (sighs)

Kouji: What's it like t' kiss a girl? 

Genrou: She's got a friend. Want me t'set ya up?

Kouji: Nah. (sighs. They head inside in silence)

Doulin didn' hang around with our friends 'gain after that, an' they left 'er well alone. She had nuff spunk t' get rid've 'em if they bothered her an' she jus' didn' like 'em. But Gen an' me stuck with 'em. Thing is, they all did care, in their own weird ways. They tried t' get me a girlfrien' but I jus' wasn' interested. I jus' wanted Genrou back. He'd gone all funny, always talkin' 'bout her. The others got sick've it, said t' me they wished those two'd break up so he'd shut up 'bout her. Then Yuki pointed out that 'ed prob'ly go on about 'er even more, be all heartbroken. But they all put up with Genrou's ramblin' with mostly good natures.

Thing is, they all had assumed that Genrou'd slept with her. He pretended it too, boasted 'bout it even, but I knew he didn'. We were still as close as ever, 'e tol' me everything. I didn' have anythin' to tell in return, but it didn' seem t' bother 'im. But thing was, 'e was eager to do all th' things he said he did. I can' blame 'im. Who would? An' he obviously dreamt about what he wanted t' do too. But Doulin was funny. She didn' wanna. Genrou kept his cool for a few months but he's only human. One afternoon they went out t'gether, alone, an' he tried to make a serious move on her. She dumped him on the spot.

He was a mess, came t' me an' was almos' bawlin'. I fel' really stupid. What in the hell was I s'posed t' do? After a while, he stopped cryin' an got angry.

"Why didn' she wanna? Not fuckin' fair! She led me on! I mean, why else d'ya go out with someone when ya know from the start ya aren' even gonna marry 'em or nothin'? I gave her all the fuckin' romance she wanted, more'n I wanted t' give. I was always there an' we tol' each other everythin'! So why didn' she wanna? Why?"

He never spoke to her again. Not one word. She tried t' make up but he'd had it with her. It wasn' cos he didn' like her or nothin'. In fact, I reckon 'e loved her, or somethin' stupid like that. It's jus' that his pride'd been hurt. He couldn' face her.

Arashi an' them couldn' fail to notice. For a while they were occupied cos Yuki's parents made 'er leave again so they were all unhappy, but Genrou's misery caught their attention. He jus' moped aroun', wasn' his old self or nothin'.

"Prob'ly misses all th' rooting!" they said. This jus' made 'im worse.

His birthday was approachin' an' one afternoon, when 'e was sick, I asked Arashi, at lunch, what 'e reckoned I should get 'im. He snorted.

"Whaddya reckon? He wants t' get laid, dumbarse!"

I didn' twig onto what he was talkin' about. Then I got it. So that's why, on an afternoon when Fuyu was sleeping over at a mate, an' Okaa an' Sora-chan both had late-shift, I got Genrou an appointment with a prostitute.

**********

The first Genrou knew of it was when Kouji started acting mysterious and ran on ahead. Genrou, who was in no hurry, hung around with Arashi for a few minutes, but couldn't understand why he was acting so strangely. He finally went home, completely perplexed. The lights were off, but the door was unlocked and he went in.

"Hello?" he called.

"Knock knock  
Who's there?  
Kouji with a surprise gift fer Genrou  
Really? That's nice. I'll better come in an' get it then, Kouji.  
You do that." Kouji replied, from their bedroom. Genrou walked through the door, stopped and blinked.

"Happy birthday," a voice greeted him. A female voice. Belonging to a half-naked woman, lying on his bed.

Genrou did a double-take and stared at her. Then he drew Kouji aside.

"Kouji? Whaddya doin'?" he hissed.

"It's a birthday presen'," Kouji said, feeling foolish. "Because you didn' get laid with Doulin."

"My ears are burning, boys!" the woman purred. "Have a drink. First-timers are fine with me." She gestured meaningfully to a few beer bottles on the floor. Genrou took one look at her, opened a can and downed the lot. Then he turned back to Kouji.

"Look, Kouji, I'm sorry mate, but I can' do it. Who put ya up to it anyway?"

"Arashi," Kouji admitted, miserably, "an' now what're we gonna do? I can' get m' money back now!"

"But look at her!" Genrou whispered. They did. "She's so run down, has at least two grams've speed in her. Not to mention anythin' else she prob'ly could find. An' she prob'ly has some disease or somethin'. Look at 'er coughin'. I can' do it, Kou."

He turned to the prostitute. "I'm sorry, I've changed m' mind. Can we have our money back?"

She laughed. "Cold feet?" She leaned over and smiled, revealing yellow teeth. "Sorry, but I don't give refunds."

"Give me my money back, ya bitch!" Genrou roared. "I'd rather fuck Kouji then fuck you!"

Her grin widened. "Prove it."

Genrou grinned. He never backed down from a good challenge. "Ya up to it?" he asked Kouji. And before Kouji knew what he was doing, Genrou leaned over and started kissing him. Kouji, taken completely by shock, kissed back.

The prostitute wasn't impressed. "Feh," she said, "that proves nothing."

They started kissing harder, and Genrou moved his head until he was kissing Kouji's neck. With a swift movement of his hands, he pulled off Kouji's shirt, then removed his own. The prostitute was starting to sweat. They didn't stop. Kouji's hands roamed and fumbled with Genrou's zip. Before long, both their pants were around their ankles.

The prostitute let out a squawk. "Okay, okay! Keep your damn money! That's disgusting!" She threw the money down on the bed and ran out of the apartment, screaming blue murder. 

"What was she so shocked about?" Genrou grinned.

Kouji looked downwards. "You're hard." 

"So're you," pointed out Genrou.

"I'll call her back," sighed Kouji.

"Nah, don' bother," Genrou said, opening and drainin' another beer. Kouji did the same, then went over to inspect the money.

He looked up and grinned. "She even left a tip."

Genrou grinned. "Sucked in. But now what'm I gonna do?" He groaned. "Damn it, Kouji! You got me horny! I was pretendin' ya were Doulin!"

What Kouji did next surprised even him. Perhaps it was because he was half-drunk, something he'd never been before. Perhaps it was because he'd never thought of this possibility before, and now it was there, huge in his mind. "I could do somethin' about it."

Genrou's grin faltered a little. "Ya gay or somethin'?"

"Nah, nah," Kouji said, quickly, "we'll pretend that the other's a girl or somethin'. No probs. Like y' did before."

Genrou's grin widened. "Damn straight." He scrunched up his empty beer can.

There was an awkward pause, as they both waited for the other to spring into action, like they do in TV. Then Genrou laughed quietly and put his arm around Kouji and they started kissing again.

Afterwards, they both cleaned up the mess of empty beer cans and dirty, ruffled sheets quickly, both feeling a bizarre mixture of being closer then ever but distant as well. Whenever they touched, even accidentally, they leapt back, as if electrocuted, and gave each other goofy, awkward smiles.

"So I guess I'd better try an' get ya a better birthday presen' now, I guess," Kouji said, picking up the money, plus extra.

"This time I'll come with ya an' make sure ya get me somethin' I actually want," Genrou laughed.

They still had the whole evening ahead of them and strolled the streets of Tokyo together before Genrou finally saw something he liked. Even better, it had a two for the price of one deal. They walked in together.

A few minutes later, they came out, ears aching, with a few earrings in each ear. On the way home, they ran into Arashi. He took one look at their faces and grinned.

"You got laid."

They nodded.

"An' ya got pierced! Goodonya!" He fingered his eyebrow ring and said, "but it wouldn've been as bad as this. It hurt like muthafucka."

Genrou and Kouji obligingly agreed.

He gave them a weird look. "How did ya get the money? You two resortin' t' petty crime now?"

"Nah, we decided not to use 'er so used that money," Kouji explained.

"In that case, how did ya get laid?" Arashi asked, curiously.

They both began to sweat.

"Someone better came along," Genrou said, finally,"someone more willing."

"I'll say!" Kouji sniggered. They both laughed.

Arashi gave them a suspicious look but said nothing.

They both headed home. On the way, they made an unspoken agreement never to speak of it again, nor to repeat it. It was a one off. A birthday present. And no one likes the same birthday present twice.

A few weeks later was Kouji's fourteenth birthday. That time he gained an eyebrow ring and Genrou, more earrings.

**********

Genrou

Life went on. What can I say? I mean, it's not as if anythin' major happened in junior high school. It was pretty tame, in fact. Kouji an' me actually bothered t' study, because after a while, we moved up a year but Arashi went to senior high school. Without him, lunch-time was borin'. An' cos we spen' all our time outside've school with 'im, it didn' leave much time for studyin', so we did it all at lunch. It's not as if we had any friends out've the other kids. I could've made up with Doulin but it was too late fer that.

Another birthday went by each, an' we both gained more assorted piercin's. I guess it kinda became a birthday tradition after that.

Mum an' Hikari changed jobs a few times, but generally things were okay. Sure, occasionally we had t' busk an' all, but we were used to it. Kouji became real good with the guitar, after studyin' music in grade eight, an' if we were really desperate, Fuyu would join us, or even Reika. She's the cutest lil toddler an' always gets money when she asks for it. Mum never knows we do it, though. She tends to work night shifts, an' Hikari day. It works. Once they switched, but Mum's practically nocturnal now. I live fer the night so I can see her. I miss Mum. It's really weird, none've the other kids are like that, an' even Kouji isn' like that with Hikari. Mebbe I'm jus' weird t' miss Mum as much as Reika, but screw what others think. An' Reika an' I are really close. More often then not, I wind up cookin' 'em all dinner, so I'm practically Daddy to Fuyu an' Reika. Kouji busks, I cook. Easy deal. An' if we don' have enough for the rent, we never raid Mum an' Hikari's money stash fer emergencies, we busk some more an' add to it. They never find out, an' we intend t' keep it that way. Mum would flip. She is pretty cool, doesn' give us any limitations, jus' "if ya make a mess, clean it, make sure the kids are fed an' don' ever smoke in the house. An' y'r not allowed home stoned or high." We never break the rules. 'sides, we don' have enough money for drugs. We've never even touched the stuff. Not our scene. Jus' like beggin' an' acceptin' "charity" ain't Mum's. That's why our buskin' is the only secret I've ever really kept from her. I reckon she knows everythin' which goes on with us, with our friends, between Kouji'n me, the lot. She always asks questions which get ya wondering how much she knows. An' I can always sense if she's in a bad mood or something. Someday I wanna beat the shit out of her bastard of a boss. She comes home an' cries sometimes an' I feel like shit cos there's nothin' I can do. 

But sides's from all that, nothin' really happened durin' junior high. All that other stuff is routine. We do it all th' time.

What threw the routine was studyin' for our exams. All the others seemed t' get by without studyin', an' Arashi had dropped out of school ages ago. They were peeved we couldn' be there as much, but it paid off. We got into the high school we wanted. It wasn' a real flash one, the mos' Mum and Hikari could afford, but people there got pretty good grades. Ours were decen' enough to pass the test.

_(BGM : Do=Be's ga Yatte Kuru; The Do=Be's Come)_

_Just do it, and it'll work out!  
Acting super cheerful,  
and living your dreams  
isn't a hard thing at all. _

We were ecstatic when we found out. Mum an' Hikari screamed an' laughed an' we all wen' out for a huge meal at the pub Mum works at, all free of charge. Everyone was grinnin' at us as if we were celebrities or somethin'. The pub-people were mainly pov people like us, an' most've 'em didn' have kids. Mum used t' tell 'em all about us, so they felt like they knew us already. Most've 'em had never even passed junior high, so they were real proud've us. We celebrated most've the night away.

_[Instrumental] _

But even better was when we tol' Arashi an' the others about how well we'd done. We did it real nervously, not sure how they'd react. It was weird, but they were genuinely happy for us. Real happy. In fact, Arashi even decided to throw us a party! 

_The seed of the future  
is in the present.  
What do you wanna do?! Then really let 'em know  
that you wanna do it! _

It was terrific, at Arashi's house. Real booze, loud music, lotsa company. A lot of the people were jus' lookin' for an excuse for a party, but a few were people who'd jus' passed exams too. Some were Arashi's mates, from his work. Everyone cool came along t' help us celebrate.

_Within a trusting heart,  
lies power,  
and it can make its dreams materialize,  
more certain than magic. _

We'd told Mum an' Hikari that we were goin' to a party with friends an' that we probably wouldn' be back until dawn or later. We'd been t' a few of Arashi's parties before, but always got home before it got too late, cos of school. Now it didn' matter, we were on holidays! An' all we wanted t' do for the time bein' was party like crazy cos all the crazy revision time was over. 

_Just do it, and it'll work out!  
I'm not gonna be down.  
When you're walking forward,  
there's no room for looking back. _

"Thank god it's over," Kouji kept sayin', "I never have t' see that bloody place again. Or those bloody teachers. Never ever. An' we don' have t' mix with those baka people anymore."

Finally, t' shut him up, someone gave him some sake. It didn' work, he jus' got louder, but changed the subject, thank god.

_Just do it, and it'll work out!  
Acting super cheerful,  
and living your dreams  
isn't a hard thing at all. _

I helped myself to a lil sake too. Okay, a lot've sake. But it's all good. All of it's good. An' sake makes me dance better. Everyone agrees with me. Sake is one've the few things that make me musical.

_[Short Instrumental] _

I jumped up onstage (okay, on table) an' decided everyone should see Kouji'n me's gruesome twosome dance. It's a classic, we invented it in year 4. Pure classic. Hell yeah. Everyone loved it, they thought it was funny. 's all good. 

_I always have  
a really sunny disposition.  
I forget about bad things right away.  
That's a talent, too. _

"Wanna dance?" asked Nami. Her mouth was close to my ear but she still yelled a lil. She was slurrin' her words by then. Doesn' matter, cos I've drunk sake, so I'm now the bes' dancer in the room. An' sake makes ya smarter too, ya know. I should've rocked up t' the exam drunk! Urgh, exams. I don' like exams. Forget exams, I'm gonna dance. Sake makes the room look pretty.

_I won't give up easily.  
I won't be broken.  
I can't be called brave  
if I can't even beat myself. _

Nami suddenly needed to sit down. Really quickly. But that's 'kay, cos I dance even better without someone holdin' me down! Ooh, more sake! Ooh, yes please! Mmm, tasty sake. Why has the room gone all blurry? Oh well, keep dancin' anyway!

_One way or another, it'll work out.  
A pure white canvas can be  
a beautiful future image  
if you put your best effort into it. _

"Great, so you've got into high school. Now whaddya plan to do?" Arashi's voice cuts through the fog.

"Party!" I say, naturally.

"Later, I mean," he insists.

"Shut up, you're makin' my head hurt," I complain.

_One way or another, it'll work out.  
Sow positive seeds.  
Dreams are opening.  
Miracles are exciting. _

"You're prob'ly gonna study some more, right?" he asks.

"Yeah. Guesso," I say. I decide to think about this a bit more an' get some more sake to help me think.

"An' then y'll go t' uni?" he asks.

"Guesso."

"Ya mus' be smart," he sighs.

_[Instrumental]  
[Spoken:] No, I'm not really gonna be down. Somehow, It'll work out. _

"Yuuji jus' broke up with his girlfrien'," Arashi informs me. "Whydoncha cheer him up? You're all happy an' soon he'll be too."

"All he needs is sake," I say, all confident.

When it comes to romantic love,  
it's hopeless, but  
when trouble breaks out,  
I wanna lend a hand.

"How're ya doin', mate?" I ask Yuuji. 

"Rotten," he mutters.

"Don' worry, have some sake," I say. I accidentally drop the bottle an' we both reach for it at the same time.

Yuuji looks into my eyes. "Arashi reckons y're really cute," he says, all secret-like, "an' so do I."

An' before I know it, he's kissin' me. 

_Just do it, and it'll work out!  
I'm not gonna be down.  
If you keep walking forward,  
there's no room for looking back. _

I dunno what t' do. I look fer Kouji an' see that Arashi is kissin' him. If Kouji is doin' it too, it mus' be alright. Jus' a lil kissing. It'll all work out. Jus' a lil more sake an' it'll all be good.

_Just do it, and it'll work out!  
Acting super cheerful,  
and living your dreams  
isn't a hard thing at all._

An' I wake up the next mornin', arse achin', an' see Yuuji next to me.

An' across the room I see Kouji wakin' up next to Arashi.

An' we look at each other in horror an' dunno what t' do, cos we know we're in fer it now. Or that we've already had it.

An' Arashi wakes up, looks at us straight in the eye an' sez, "I always knew you two were fags."

An' that was when Kouji'n I both grabbed our disgustin' dirty clothes, put'em on an' walked home, feelin' dirty, feelin' sick.

An' that was when Kouji an' I swore never to go near Arashi an' his sick friends ever again. Never ever, never never.

**********

Kouji

Of course, it's never as simple as that. Arashi had us once an' didn' wan' t' let us go. He kept followin' us, once even back home. We threatened t' call the police an' he left us alone after that. Mostly. We jus' tried not t' worry. We were in high school, we were invincible. But we did worry. Our grades dropped. Another birthday passed by, an' we were both sixteen. Reika was four an' gonna start school soon. What if they wen' after Fuyu? What if they wen' after Reika? They'd be defenseless, that's what. 

An' then, one night, me'n Genrou went out buskin'. It shouldn' have been jus' another normal night. We left Reika an' Fuyu at 'ome, told 'em we'd be back soon. It should've been normal. But it wasn'.

I was singin' on the corner. Occasionally the odd passer-by gave me a coin. Genrou was a few metres away, askin' for "money to buy a bus-ticket." You'd be surprised how often that worked for a gaijin look-alike, especially when he put on an accen'. Obviously thought he was a tourist or somethin'.

But then Arashi came up. I ignored him. 

"You've got a good voice," he commented, "a good range."

I ignored him, concentrated on my guitar, my singing.

"Your voice carries well," Arashi continued. "Very loud. Must be because you've got a big mouth. You'd be surprised how much can _fit inside it_."

I slammed my guitar case shut.

"Where d'ya think you're goin'?" he asked, sounding almost friendly.

At that point, Genrou came back. He saw Arashi and his face darkened. "Fuck off, bastard."

"You didn't say that before. Neither did Kouji. If I remember well, he said 'fuck me some more'," Arashi said, in an oily voice.

He dodged Genrou's punch, but mine got him right on the nose. At that point, all his cronies decided to leap out of their hidin' places.

"Now you're gonna come with us," Arashi said, in a voice which sounded so pleasant an' natural, but was full of hidden menace. We had no choice but to do as he said.

We were led into a dark sidestreet. An alley, really.

_(BGM: Deep)_

It was out of the way an' had a dead end, with garbage piled up in the corners. Arashi's gang blocked the exit an' Arashi stepped forward.

"Kneel," he commanded.

"Get fucked," Genrou snapped.

Arashi's eyes gleamed. "Oh, I will. Trust me, I will. Chuuei! Shunkei!"

They forced us down.

_blank stare  
disrepair  
there's a big black hole gonna eat me up someday _

He unzipped his pants an' shoved his dick in Genrou's face.

"Do it," he ordered.

"No!" Genrou said.

"Do it!" he bellowed.

_someday  
fades away  
like a memory - or a place that you'd rather be _

I tried to get up to help, but Shunkei held me down. I was helpless. I struggled again an' received a blow which made me slump then sink further down into the dirt. Light blazed 'hind my eyes an' for a momen', I could see Hikari's face 'fore my eyes. Hikari = light. Then reality came flying back.

Genrou

_some place  
lost in space  
itch in my head that's telling me somewhere _

"Kouji!" I called. "You okay?" I tried to move but Chuuei's iron grip held me there. I couldn' move. But I wasn' gonna do it. They could kill me but I never would. Never. I'd rather die.

"Suck my fuckin' cock, gaijin!" Arashi roared in my face. It came closer. Closer.

_somewhere  
out there  
anywhere  
I don't care  
get me out of here _

I closed my eyes to see blessed blackness. They couldn' steal that from me. But a face kept buggin' me. Someone like me, but differen'. Dad? Me? I dunno. He looked strong. I couldn' stand his look.

"Piss off," I muttered.

"What?!" Arashi roared. I'd forgotten he was even there for that second.

_if I could feel  
all the pins and the pricks _

Chuuei punched me. I bounced off the ground. But I couldn' feel it. None of it was real, none of it. Only that face in front've my eyes.

_if you were real  
I could take what's apart and put it back together _

I wanted to be the person I saw. They were strong. They wouldn't get this.

You can be. You can be strong, The person in my head said. I can make you.

_this will come true  
help me get through  
into you _

Do it, I said. I could faintly feel Arashi kickin' me an' hear Kouji screamin' in the background, but none of it mattered. All that mattered was that feelin'. Was I dyin'? I didn' know. But somethin' tol' me I wasn'. It felt as if I was comin' alive.

_deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep _

Red light blazed behind my eyes. I could feel my head bounce off somethin'. A wall? A fist? I dunno. I could feel blood tricklin' down my face. But it didn' matter.

_all I can do  
driving me through  
into you _

Get up, the voice ordered. I did. I didn' get up completely, but I staggered to my knees an' opened my eyes. Kouji was whimperin', but Arashi looked satisfied.

"So ya've seen reason," he said.

I moved towards him, head lowered. He smirked and shoved my face forward.

_deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep _

I bit him with all my might. He screamed in pain, screamed and screamed and screamed. An' every scream made me stronger. Oh yes, I got stronger. All the strength I'd lost to the sake I'd regained. All the strength I'd lost to their fists, I regained. I stood up.

_one track  
got you on your back  
your skin speaks up but your lips couldn't say it _

He found a wall an' leaned against it. All his mates were lookin' at him in shock. His lips twitched, his eyes flickered. He tried to say somethin' but all that came out were hideous howls of agony.

_right now I know somehow  
we could take the chance and we could make it  
make it  
right here make it all disappear _

His mates didn' need the order, they leapt for me. I didn' care. It was Arashi I'd wanted revenge against, he'd planned the whole damn thing. Now he was nothin'. Pathetic. All it would take would be a kick an' he'd be done for. Worse'n dead. 

_everything that we've been missing  
missing _

"Ya pathetic piece of shit," I screamed at him. "May ya rot in hell! May ya ears go mouldy an' your toes fall off!"

Time was moving slowly, but his mates were nearly on me.

_you make me feel  
that there's a part of me  
that I want to get back again _

I dodged them all an' was at his side in an instant. Oh the power. Yes the fucking power! I'd never felt this fuckin' powerful before! I could make'm do whatever I wanted to. I felt like I was regainin' all th' strength I'd lost, which he stole from me. An' more. More. Stealin' his strength.

make this come true  
help me get through  
into you

"Please..." he whimpered. At the same time, Kouji whimpered in pain. Even though he was quiet, mostly' forgotten an' all, I heard it. An' I wanted t' kill Arashi.

_deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep_

An' I tried. Oh yes, I tried. I went for his nose. I'd heard that if ya punch someone's nose long an' hard enough, ya break it an' the bits go into their brain. He'd toll' me that. So I decided to see if it was a lie like everythin' else he'd said.

_all I can do  
pushing it through  
into you_

Then I realised I didn' wan' him dead. Not yet. I wanted him alive so he could suffer. I moved my aim, moved it to his stomach.

_deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep _

Each hit stronger, deeper. He couldn' even scream no more. He gurgled, moaned, groaned. But never screamed.

_all I can do  
driving on through  
into you _

I wanted t' hit him forever. It wasn' jus' Arashi no more, it was th' whole damn world, every single one've th' bastards which made us suffer. It was Shimo. It was the bastard who ran Dad over. It was every person who'd ever looked down at me'n Mum. It was everyone who'd ever called us gaijin. It was everyone. It was even me. I kept goin'.

_deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep _

That one rhythm. Fists into his guts. Again. An' again. An' again. Mirrorin' the rhythm of their fists inta me. His mates were there, at me. But they were nothin'.

_you're slipping through  
I'm coming to   
into you _

Arashi was finished. I spat in his face then turned to th' others. Now it was their turn.

_deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep  
deep deep_

They had it comin', all of 'em. I went for 'em all. I was flame. I was wind. They were nothin'. Let them burn. Let my fists fly inta them. I went for a few at a time, threw them aside. Every hit made me stronger.

_we could become  
two into one   
leave this behind   
over and done _

They were nothin'. But still that face in front've my eyes. Oh yes, I wanted t'be that person. A god. An' I'd punish 'em all for what they'd done. This was it. This was revenge. They were bein' punished. An' they were scared. I heard one of 'em scream,

"He's glowing red! He's possessed!"

_everything new  
I'm getting through   
into you _

I wanted t'be the god. But somethin' held me back. A face. A girl. An' I knew then that I didn' wanna be that person. Cos if I was, I'd kill 'em all. All of 'em. An' I'd be as bad as they were. I'd be outta control. So when they made a move to escape, I let 'em go. They ran.

Except for Lanva an' Arashi. Arashi couldn' even move, but Lanva wasn' there t' help him or t' even be brave. He looked at me, eyes wide.

"Who are you?" he asked. Then he shook his head an' ran. Jus' like the rest've 'em.

I turned to Kouji. He was in a bad shape, but breathin' okay. But me? I'd had it. I guess the power I'd used was my own energy. I was a flame. An' now I'd burnt myself out.

I couldn' feel the ground as I hit it, but I could hear Kouji gettin' up. He was leanin' over, his face clear outta the blackness. He was kissin' life back inta me. That's right Kouji. I saved yer life. Now ya'll save mine, right? Jus' keep blowin'. Help'll come. It'll come. Come...

*********

Kouji

I thought Genrou was dead. He looked it. One minute he was alive, breathin', glowin', the next he was down, not even breathin'.

It was Lanva who called the ambulance. I dunno why he did it. Mebbe he'd had enough. Mebbe he was scared. We'll never know why.

It was Lanva who stood up for us in court, th' only one who told the truth, the whole truth an' nothin' but the fuckin' truth. I look back an' remember that he was th' only one who didn' get involved when Genrou started fightin' back. Me an' him. I was t' scared. I dunno his reason.

It was Lanva's evidence which turned the case around. Arashi was gonna try'n sue Genrou for permanent disfigurement. We wound up suein' him. He's now in the slammer an' won' be out for a long while. Th' others all have various terms too. Lanva pleaded guilty an' has a short term. He'll be out next year. I think we might have even forgiven him by then.

But it was me which kept Genrou alive. It was me who breathed life back int' him an' rode with him in the ambulance. We both were outta hospital in time for the court case.

Everythin' was kept all hushed up. They figured it was some gang squabble or somethin'. Whatever.

Now life is all back t' normal. Well, kinda.

We came back t' school an' no one was speakin' to us. They kept well away. Even the teachers seemed scared of us. That was the worst thing. They were scared of us, like they were all scared of Arashi. An' nothin' we said or did could change that. Genrou was furious. He couldn' get why people were like that. He'd jus' rid'em of an evil bastard, but all they saw was a stronger an' even meaner bastard. They didn' see Gen-chan.

An' all the teachers judged us, they reckoned we were feral. Genrou got the best grades he'd ever got in his life an' they treated him jus' the same as when we were failin'. We'd had a guts full. Genrou started talkin' about droppin' out of school.

But then Okaa saw an advertisment in a newspaper. A school was offerin' scholarships. Some were for real geniuses. Some were for povos like us. An' that's why, right now, I'm sittin' on a chair outside the principal's office, waiting for my interview. Genrou is in there right now, tryin' t' plead our case. This is it. I reckon that if we don' make it in, we don' even have a future. No where else will take us.

********

Genrou

The guy was old. White hair an' tons of wrinkles. An' he had a pompous air about him. He was lookin' at my earrin's. I knew I only had one chance. If I couldn' get him to see past m' appearance, no one could. Kouji couldn'. But after bein' in that fight, I'd realised. That power, it was mine, no one else's. I could beat this bastard.

"So, Mr Omari. Why should we take you into our school?" _Impress me, ya feral._

I decided t' tell him the truth. T' be brutally honest.

"Because I am worth it. Look at m' reports. They all say I'm a fuckin' genius. It's true. Although I've got lousy grades since high school, they all say I'm s'posed to be great. The best. An' that's why ya want me at ya school. Cos I will be. Even if I won' even try in class, even if I look feral, at th' end've the day, I'll get good grades. I'll ace yer tests. Cos I reckon ya should never let a teacher interfere with ya learnin'. My school? They look down at me, they don' even bother. They say 'there's another no-hoper'. An' maybe I am. Maybe I will be. But ya won' know unless ya give me a try. An' no one else will. If I don' get in, I'm droppin' out. People jus' reckon I'm some stupid gaijin, don' even know how t' talk properly. Guess what? I can speak two fuckin' languages fluently. I may act stupid, but I sure as hell ain't. An' if ya let me in, I promise I'll do ya proud. An' I might take get offered an engineerin' degree but I know what I wanna do. I'm gonna make stuff. Jewellery. I'm gonna be the best. I'll make ya daughter's engagement ring, I'll make her weddin' ring. I'm gonna make m' Mum proud, I'm gonna make somethin' of myself. An' who knows? I might even go t' uni, once I've got enough money. But ya'll never know unless ya let me try t' find out. That's what it comes down t'. Cos if you don' give me a go, look past m' red hair an' earrin's, I'm done for. I'll be jus' like any one of those other no hopers. I'll prob'ly die drunk with a sake bottle in m' hand. An' at night I'll hear m' Mum thinkin' 'why did he do it? He had so much potential'. But she won' ever say it. She'd be too ashamed. An' I'd be too."

I stopped. I'd jus' placed my life in this guy's hands, an' he was aware of it. I was trustin' him t' be th' saviour, to actually care. Feh. I'd jus' thrown m' life away. But at least I'd got him thinkin'. An' if one person could think, mebbe the worl' isn' as doomed as I think.

"I'll leave now, shall I?" I asked. "Cos it's obvious I'm wastin' my time."

I walked out of the office, past his secretary, who looked up in surprise, an' int' the waitin' room. Mum didn' ask 'how did it go?'. She knew that if I had anythin' t' say, I'd say it.

We jus' sat there an' waited. Didn' seem like we had anythin' left t' do.

*********

The principal sat there, stunned. He'd never encountered anyone quite like that before and was startled into silence. He just stared out of the open door, which the boy had left open.

During the boy's speech, he'd been watching him closely. And he had been paying attention. The passion in the boy's speech had moved him more than the words himself. He'd found himself someone who was genuine, who was real. He'd interviewed every single person entering the school that year, and many of them, who were well-worded, sounded rehearsed. The boy... his language was rough, but it came from the heart. There was a quality about him which was real. He'd really wanted to come to that school, desperately enough to pin all his hopes of a future on him. So many of those he'd interviewed were nervous, unwilling. Their parents had wanted them to go to that school, and they merely complied. But the mother and son seemed to share a bizarre bond. He could sense that whether the boy wanted to be a tramp or a rocket scientist, the mother would be proud of him either way.

The principal sighed. Could he really do it? Let some one like that into their school? What would the staff think? They were trained to cope with students from all walks of life, yet behind the scenes...

And what aobut their reputation? Letting ferals into his school...

But something in that boy's speech had moved him.

He smiled, besides himself. "We'll see if you make my daughter's engagement ring..." he murmured, knowing that his intention all along had been to give the boy the chance he so desperately wanted.

He sighed and wondered what his daughter was doing then. Whether she was still alive. That boy, for all he knew, could even be her son. Stranger things had happened...

*********  


_"Beautiful Day" ( by U2)  
_

_  
The heart is a bloom  
Shoots up through the stony ground  
There's no room  
No space to rent in this town  
  
You're out of luck  
And the reason that you had to care  
The traffic is stuck  
And you're not moving anywhere  
  
You thought you'd found a friend  
To take you out of this place  
Someone you could lend a hand  
In return for grace  
  
It's a beautiful day  
Sky falls, you feel like  
It's a beautiful day  
Don't let it get away  
  
You're on the road  
But you've got no destination  
You're in the mud  
In the maze of her imagination  
  
You love this town  
Even if that doesn't ring true  
You've been all over  
And it's been all over you  
  
It's a beautiful day  
Don't let it get away  
It's a beautiful day  
  
Touch me  
Take me to that other place  
Teach me  
I know I'm not a hopeless case  
  
See the world in green and blue  
See China right in front of you  
See the canyons broken by cloud  
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out  
See the Bedouin fires at night  
See the oil fields at first light  
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth  
After the flood all the colors came out  
  
It was a beautiful day  
Don't let it get away  
Beautiful day  
  
Touch me  
Take me to that other place  
Reach me  
I know I'm not a hopeless case  
  
What you don't have you don't need it now  
What you don't know you can feel it somehow  
What you don't have you don't need it now  
Don't need it now  
Was a beautiful day  
_
    
      
    =Fin= (or at least, the Tasuki saga is...)

*********

So that's it for Tasuki. We've found out how he winds up at the same school as all the others, about everything that happened, my little version of his reincarnated history.

And this chapter has taken FOREVER to write. I mean forever. I usually plan everything that I write in a chapter (the bare bones) in my head, wait until the mood gets me then write the lot in an afternoon. This chapter took THREE afternoons to do. And what an emotional little journey it was... I can hardly believe it's over!

Gods, if you look at it, this whole prequel took longer to write than all of "What if" put together! But I think my writing style has improved. Then again, this and "What if" are so different you can barely compare them. I'm just glad the whole Tasuki saga is over. Not because I disliked writing it, but because now a lot of the angsty stuff is over. And I put off writing some of it because I knew that some readers (Neko-chan mainly...) would freak out over some of the scenes. *laughs* I hope you're not going to kill me for this little unorthodox version of Gen-chan.

I've just reread it. Wow. Melodrama galore! But a few hidden jokes. Did you pick them up?

Yuki was the Shiro Yuki from the first chapter after the prologue. Genrou remembered her vaguely from when they were little kids.

When Arashi teases "you've got false teeth", that was what a teacher once said to me. I'd got my ears pierced (I was five years old at the time) and I bounced up to her, really excited, and said "guess what?"

The slightly drunk scene was fun to write (before it got angsty) because that's my state of mind whenever I'm happy. And if that's what I'm like when I'm not drunk then imagine how bad I'd be if I ever was. That's probably the main reason I never drink. Who needs it? A good ol' sugar high is good. Bring on the Pepsi One! But not Vanilla Coke. *screws up nose* My sister loves the stuff. I can't stand it. Ginger-ale on the other hand... but this is from someone who used to eat ginger out of the box. I've got weird taste...

I've just realised... no akugis! But this has been so angsty, I've had no room for them. I suppose there is one which comes to mind though:

**Tasuki:** Use the force, young Genrou. Use the f*#$in' force!!

And...

**Random person: **"He's possessed!"

**Miboshi:** *evil laughter*

Omigoddess! I've just checked the word-count! Over 13,000 words! Considering that the average chapter length in "What About" is 4000 words, and in "What if" is 1000 words! No wonder it's so long!!!!

So... anyway... onto the Ryuuen saga! *cheers* Go Nuriko! Unfortunately, there'll be much angst too...

  



End file.
